Page 28 of Another Underworld

“Were they decapitated?” she pressed.

“No,” he replied. “Just beaten and unable to heal.”

Pandora’s eyes shot to mine. While I couldn’t read her mind, I knew exactly what she was thinking.

“Death magic,” I said flatly. “The false God is using death magic.”

She nodded. “The question is, where in the fuck is this imposter getting death magic?”

“Is it not common?” I questioned.

“It’s not,” Cher said. “I’m older than the hills and I don’t know how to create it. Whoever is using it is older than Satan’s balls.”

While Satan was a human fairy tale, I got the point.

“Pandora,” I said, knowing my next words were going to knot her panties into a wad. “At your… umm… age, do you know how to use it or create it?”

Her eyes narrowed to slits. “What are you accusing me of, bitch?”

I inhaled deeply and blew it out slowly. Then I sat on my hands. The need to electrocute her was high. That wouldaccomplish nothing other than having a little fun. Fun wasn’t on the agenda right now, considering what was going on. “Nothing, Stinky Whore. I’m trying to figure out how old Big Dick and his balls might be. And since you’re being such a cow, I won’t be polite. Why I asked you is because you’re older than dirt. If you don’t know how to create it, there’s a good possibility that fake ass God boy balls is older than you. That would narrow down the suspects.”

“Why didn’t you lead with that, idiot?” she snapped. “If you had, I would have told you that no one is older than me and your mother. We were two of the first Demons created by the Higher Power.”

There went my theory. Crap. And the Higher Power… I hadn’t even been looking for Phyllis. Hopefully, It would stay out of my business until the future of the world wasn’t on the line. I could only handle one shitshow at a time.

“Let me ask you this,” I posed. “If there was a Demon practitioner of death magic who came into the world after you and my mom, would you have known about it?”

“Absolutely,” Pandora said, not missing a beat. “And I would have killed him or her dead. Your mother would have done the same.”

“But clearly, there is a Demon who practices it. And since no Demon is older than you or Lilith, it doesn’t make sense.”

She raised a brow. “Have you considered that Big Pecker Son-of -a-Bitch might not be a Demon at all?”

That was a plot twist I wasn’t expecting. “No. I haven’t.” I turned to get Tiny’s opinion.

He was at a loss and wrung his hands. “I’ve seen him. He was masked. It was from a distance, but he appeared to be a Demon. I wouldn’t think a being of another species would be able to pull something so large over on so many.”

I didn’t either, but I’d only been in the Demon business for a very short period of time.

“Do we know of anyone from another species that uses death magic?” I asked.

No one had an answer.

Cher was agitated. When she got agitated, she went to town on her face. Her lips were royal blue and the perimeters were green. Her eyeshadow was pink lined in orange. And her brows? Purple. It was a frightening sight. “I’m thinking we might need more glowing toothpicks. It’s the only thing that can counteract the death magic,” she said, trying to put on false eyelashes and failing. She placed them a little too high. It looked like she had bugs growing out of her purple brows.

“And how are we going to do that?” I asked.

“You send me and Fifi back to the mortal plane and we get them from Candy Vargo,” she replied.

I considered her request. I now had an army, but they were not in good shape. We still had three more camps to liberate before we could challenge the fake God. Plus, if time ran differently here, she and Fifi might not be back for a century.

Just as I was about to tell Cher no, Pandora cut in.

“It’s not a bad idea,” Pandora said. “Leave your toothpicks behind in case we need them.”

I pulled out my glowing box and examined it. “There are fifty toothpicks in each box. All combined, we have two-hundred and fifty. We can’t even cover a small portion of our army. Not to mention the whole time running differently here. Cher and Fifi might not be back until the battle is over. That’s a shit plan.”

“With all due respect, Bitch Goddess Cecily,” Tiny said, “I beg to disagree.”

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