Page 13 of Another Underworld

Uncle Joe hopped on in from above. Man-mom and Sean couldn’t see him, but could feel his warm presence. Joe’s junk was on my cheek. For the first time, it didn’t bother me a bit. If he’d been human, I might have screamed, but he wasn’t.

And as usual, my uncle had some wisdom to impart. “The supreme act of war is to subdue the enemy without fighting.”

“Sun Tzu,” I replied naming the author of the quote and repeating it to my dad and brother.

“My brother is a wise and wonderful man,” Man-mom said with great fondness. “I’d like to add, war is what happens when language fails.”

“Margaret Atwood,” Abaddon said from his position on the porch.

My dad glanced over and nodded. “Come join us, Abe. After what I heard earlier, it seems to me that you’re part of the family now.

“Oh my God,” I muttered, horrified that we’d circled back to my sex life.

Abaddon chuckled and joined the group hug along with my mom.

“I got one,” Cher said, wedging herself into the pile. “Be the change you wish to see in the world.”

“Mahatma Gandhi,” Fifi said, joining the lovefest.

Thankfully, she’d put the sword and the grenade down. It would have sucked hard if she’d blown all of us up. Ophelia didn’t have a quote, but happily jumped into the group hug.

“Well, fuck,” Candy Vargo groused as she ambled over with the munchkins on her heels. “I’m not a big one for public fuckin’ affection, but getting left out makes my ass itch.” The Keeper of Fate gave good hug. The munchkins gave good calf massages. It made me smile. “Here’s another.” Candy Vargo let me go. “There never was a good war or a bad peace.”

“Benjamin Franklin. Benjamin said that,” Pandora announced from about ten feet away. “And no, I do not want to join the insipid embrace you idiots are entangled in.”

“I think she does,” Lilith whispered to me with a twinkle in her eye.

“I know she does,” Cher added. “My guess is that woman hasn’t been hugged in… well, forever.”

“Welp,” Man-mom said with a chuckle. “Only one way to solve that problem.”

“On three,” Sean announced. “One, two, three.”

Pandora didn’t see it coming. All of us, including the munchkins and Ezzanod, Brolrath and Drogruzin tackled the unsuspecting Goddess and hugged her. The litany of swear words that left her lips shocked even Candy Vargo.

However, it was a win. I could see it in her face. She might pretend to despise it, but deep down, it felt good.

I didn’t know what lay ahead. I only knew that the present moment we were living in was perfect.

CHAPTER FOUR

“What time is it?”I asked as I stared at the spot where my family had been standing only minutes ago. I felt solid with my decision, but I missed them—even Uncle Joe’s bouncing balls.

The sun was still high in the sky, and day was as pretty as any other in Southern California. However, this wasn’t just another day. It was either the beginning or the beginning of the end. The big picture was as hard to comprehend as the fact that Abaddon was a gazillion years old. I’d taken so much into my brain in such a short amount of time that I should’ve been curled up in a ball on the ground babbling like an idiot.

But I wasn’t.

I didn’t know if that was because I was tough or insane. Did it matter? No. It didn’t.

“Five o’clock,” Cher said, handing me a wine cooler. “You okay?”

I nodded but declined the drink. The coolers were just too darn sweet. Plus, getting drunk or even buzzed on the fizzy Kool-aid wasn’t a luxury I could afford right now. I was basically like a surgeon on call, and if I got inebriated and took out a liver instead of an appendix, someone was going to die. Phyllis was the festering, infected pain in my appendix, and her promiseof revenge without the courtesy of a timeline meant, at any moment, she could burst all over me. I had to stay on my toes.

The riot of emotions blasting in my mind made my head hurt. It was like I’d been thrown into a tank of hungry sharks, and I wasn’t a good swimmer. Voicing my doubt in front of Pandora didn’t sit right. She was a huge part of the problem. She needed to get her rogue Demons back from wherever they’d absconded, but I had my doubts about whether I could convince them to accept her again or not. Her crappy attitude didn’t help. I swore, if she so much as called a single Demon a shit stain and undermined my efforts, I’d electrocute the shit stain right out of her.

The rumbling of my stomach put an end to my chaotic inner monologue.

“Is anyone hungry?” I asked.

---