Page 12 of Another Underworld

She slapped her knocker and laughed. “My buzzing boob is getting the best of me today. Gonna make a switch to strawberry wine coolers. The peach is messing with my instincts.”

I didn’t have anything to add. She was nuts.

“You want me with you, fucker?” Candy Vargo inquired, lining the wasted munchkins up for the transport.

Did I? My gut told me we were headed for the Darkness. Would it be smart or stupid to have beings who weren’t Demons with us? Although, if the Higher Power showed up, it would be very smart of have a crew of deadly Immortals on my side since I wasn’t quite sure I had the loyalty of the Demons in the bag. Pandora had no one in her bag.

However, we needed to work together…

Glancing over at the other Goddess of the Darkness, I raised a brow and waited. She sighed dramatically three times then nodded curtly. “Yes. Candy Vargo creates abject fear just by being present.”

“Thank you,” Candy said. “Coming from a shitshow like you, I’ll take that as a fuckin’ compliment.”

“You’re welcome,” Pandora told her. “Abaddon is a no-brainer. The one with the grenades is terrifying. I’d bring her too. As for the Angel,” she commented, eyeing Cher up and down. “I’d think having a celestial in our piss-poor army could be useful. Demons get sloppy when challenged with the unknown.”

“I’d quite agree,” Lilith said. “They won’t be happy. Our kind tend to be very jealous and territorial people. But it might work in your favor trying to get them to accept Pandora.”

“Wait, what?” I asked, confused.

“Simple, imbecile,” Pandora said in a shitty tone. “If the shit stains in the Darkness believe that other species adore me, they will get their panties in a wad and decide they adore me as well.”

“That is the stupidest plan I’ve heard,” I told her in an even shittier tone. The fact that she called our people shit stains didn’t bode all that well, either. “Demons can’t be that gullible.”

Candy Vargo handed me a toothpick. I took it and chomped down.

“You’d be fuckin’ shocked at how well playing both sides against the middle can work,” she said.

I shrugged and pressed my temples. “Even a crap plan is better than no plan.”

“That it is, my child,” Lilith said. “Follow your heart and your gut.”

“We’re all going to die,” Pandora muttered again.

Candy Vargo electrocuted her. Pandora screamed and slapped out the flames. All of a sudden, bringing Candy Vargo with us sounded better and better.

“My Liege Bitch Goddess Cecily,” Fifi said, bowing and looking very confused. “Am I to understand that I am to pretend to be loyal to the disaster of a Demon who is currently on fire?”

“Did you just call me a disaster?” Pandora shrieked as she stood smoldering and indignant in my front yard.

Fifi pulled a grenade from one pocket and a seriously wicked-looking dagger from her other. “I did.”

Pandora backed down fast. Candy Vargo laughed and tossed Fifi a pack of toothpicks. The Succubus caught it in her teeth.

I sucked back a laugh. The next few hours, or days or possibly weeks were going to be challenging.

“Hey Sean,” Cher said, pointing at my brother. “Keep working on the scripts. If we don’t all bite the big one, we need to be ready to shoot the show.”

“Will do,” he said.

I approached Man-mom, mom, Sean and Uncle Joe. “I love you guys.”

My eyes filled. I might be a Goddess of the Darkness, but I was a daughter, sister and niece first.

“Oh my Cecily-boo,” Man-mom said, wrapping me in his embrace. “I’m so proud of you. I need you to be careful. Just like you want to keep your family safe, I need you to do keep yourself safe. Promise me.”

“I promise,” I whispered as I hugged him tight. My dad was a distracted mess of profound wisdom. He was absent-minded, a terrible cook, a talented artist, loving and gave the best hugs in the Universe. He’d single-handedly raised Sean and me and had done a fabulous job. Bill Jackson Bloom, Man-mom to me and Sean, was my hero. I’d go to the ends of the world for him as he would for me.

“I feel like you’re going to war, sis,” Sean said, joining the hug.

---