Page 1 of Another Underworld

CHAPTER ONE

Hand in hand,we landed in the front yard of my LA home with a violent thud. While I wasn’t a big fan of pain, pain meant I wasn’t dead. That was a win right now. I immediately checked to make sure I still had a head. I did. I glanced over at Pandora, relieved to see she still had hers as well.

I stared at the woman who used to be my immortal nemesis. She stared back at me. Our expressions were identical—shock, disbelief and awe. I wouldn’t call her my friend, but she was no longer the enemy.

“Did what I think just happened actually happen?” Pandora whispered, squinting at me.

I nodded. “It happened.”

The events of the last several hours were forefront in my mind. We’d been sliced, diced, and dismembered in some of the most horrific celestial versions of reality competitions and game shows. The Higher Power aka Phyllis, the most despicable being in the Universe, had stacked the games against us, but she couldn’t keep a Demon Goddess down...or a bad one either for that matter. Pandora and I were still alive. I considered that a win. However, each moment in the Higher Power’s presence was a moment I could never get back. I despised Itwith everything I had as I replayed the shitshow we’d just lived through…

“Get your ass out here, Phyllis. I’m onto youse,” I called out.

“Get out of town,” Pandora shouted, still trapped inside my body. “The talking fucking ashtray is the Higher Power?”

Phyllis’ cackle came before her entrance. In a trail of cigarette smoke, she came out from behind the curtain. “Took youse a while,” she said, grinning like a fool.

I just shrugged. “You owe me.”

She shook her head. “Nope. I don’t owe youse nothin’.”

Technically, she was right. However, she did owe someone and that someone was here. No one could see her, but both the Higher Power and I could hear her.

“Take it, Shitty Whore. It’s your turn,” I told Pandora.

“With pleasure,” she purred from inside me. “You screwed me over, Phyllis.”

Phyllis chuckled and lit up a ciggie. “Youse are the one who opened the box, Pandora. Not me.”

“You never told me what was in it,” she hissed.

“Not my problem,” the pontificating ashtray snapped. “I told youse not to open it. Do the crime. Pay the time.”

Pandora was at a loss for words.

I was not.

“Listen to me, you crunchy-haired shit,” I ground out. “No, Pandora shouldn’t have opened the damned box. But you shouldn’t have gifted something that would destroy lives. That’s an asshole move. Someone who has no compassion would do that. No morals. Nothing. You have nothing. You’re lower than any being I’ve ever come across.” I began to pace I was so pissed. “I have no clue why everyone thinks you’re so great. I think you’re a dick. Only a heartless piece of crap would have set people up to fail like this. You failed Lilith. You failed Pandora. You failed the fucking world.”

The Higher Power’s eyes were wide, and she watched me with an expression I couldn’t decipher. I couldn’t tell if she wanted to kill me or worse. I didn’t care.

“Here’s the deal,” I snarled.

“You go, guuurl,” Pandora shouted.

“I will,” I assured her. “You’ve already caused more harm than good. The end will come if there aren’t two Goddesses of the Darkness—a rule you freaking made. Right now, I’m both of them. That’s not going to work. You’re going to let Pandora out of me, and we’re leaving.”

“Am I?” Phyllis inquired, taking a long and painfully slow drag on her cigarette until the entire stick turned cherry red.

“You are,” Pandora shouted. “Bitch Goddess Cecily doesn’t deserve this. I might but she doesn’t. Let me out of her so she can live her life, you bitch.”

“Hang on,” I told Pandora. “Pandora doesn’t deserve this either. Finally, after trillions of years, the hope was released from the box. Pandora absorbed it. She should be given a chance to live a life of happiness and goodness.”

“I’m not sure I’d go that far,” Pandora commented.

“Shut up, Stinky Whore,” I snapped. “Let me handle this.”

“So,” Phyllis said, lighting up yet another cigarette. “Youse two are gettin’ along now? Youse can work together? Youse can rule the Darkness without killin’ each other? Is dat what I’m seein’ here?”

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