Page 52 of Consort

He takes charge, rolling his hips in long motions to run both his shaft and his balls through my slick. My moan echoes loudly through the cave. He’s hardly done anything yet, but I’m close to losing control over it.

His tip inches closer to my entrance, teasing me with the promise of being filled. My breaths come in quick gasps as I hold onto him tighter, ready to let him in.

The smallest amount of him slips inside my opening, sending a wave of excitement and pleasure rolling through my body.

But for him, it’s like some kind of curse has been awakened.

He jerks away from me and hastily tucks himself back into his leathers. Strands of messy, blue hair fall in his face, hiding his eyes as he ties them back up. He doesn’t look at me while he leans away and puts my dress back in place.

He pauses, then opens his mouth to explain. But he’s already ripped me apart. I don’t want to hear his excuses. The possible reasons are already attacking my brain like a storm of enchanted arrows. I’m sure at least one of them explains his actions.

My slick is repulsive to him.

There’s someone else.

He remembered I’m a shifter, and he hates me for it.

Building me up and then crushing my hope has been his plan of torture all along.

I don’t know why I care so much what he thinks of me. Being rejected by someone for any reason has never affected me in the past. But I feel like I somehow deserve his affection. Like he’s mine. It makes no sense, but it leaves me with a pain running deeper than I think I can bear.

He can’t see me break. I want him gone. I need to suffer through this alone.

“Leave,” I say quietly, holding back the tears.

He rubs his hand over his face and tries again. “I’m sorry, Rue, I—”

“Please, just go,” I whisper bringing my knees to my chest and hugging them tightly.

His face falls further, but he doesn’t give up. “Please let me explain. I wanted to—”

A loud growl rolls out of my chest, but the rage only hides a deeper hurt. I don’t really want him to go. I want him to stay and tell me why he doesn’t want me. Yet I’m not sure I could bear the truth, whether he twisted or not.

“Go,” I say, gritting my teeth to suppress the hurt, angry words threatening to spill out.

I want to tell him not to bother coming back, but he might grant me that.

I want to lash out at him, find ways to insult him until he hurts as badly as me. But then he might hate me.

I’m too devastated to know what I truly want, so it’s best for him to just leave.

His expression returns to the tortured one he arrived with tonight. I can’t look at it. It hurts too much. So, I pick up his cloak and toss it at him, hoping to encourage him to move on. He stares down at it like it’s cursed but finally turns to leave.

I close my eyes, unable to watch him walk away. I wish I knew what went wrong so I could go back to the moment and undo it. Or what the right words to say were instead of saying nothing at all.

Even after his footsteps have faded into silence, I keep them shut until I’m sure he’s disappeared into the night. But his face lingers in my mind. He didn’t look heartless, like a fae reveling in his trickery. He looked devastated. Whatever his reason for rejecting me, it probably wasn’t one of cruelty.

But whatever it was, it came between us, and clearly camebefore me.

I offered myself up to him. I removed my armor and turned myself over to him completely. If he can’t do the same, we can never be together.

I notice the blue cloth, lying crumbled and stained on the ground beside me. It’s like the only physical connection between us has passed away. I pick it up gently, mourning the joy it used to bring me as I trudge back to my hut.

I stop at the berry bush and dig a small hole. Then, I lay to rest the only piece of him I have left, hoping the gesture will make it easier to let him go.

I sneak back into the hut and crawl into my bed, thankful Mother is a deep sleeper. I close my eyes, wishing to drift off quickly, pleading for just this one night without his infuriating face haunting my dreams.

Chapter 21

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