Page 49 of Shadows of Obsession

As if sensing my doubts, he continues.

"You're not being held here by force, but you need to understand that the man who came after you isn't from some street-level drug dealer. He's Irish mafia, and trust me, as much as you might fear…me, Devin is the one you should really be running from."

I don't miss the pause he takes after the word "fear."

The truth is I'm not afraid of Roman - quite the opposite. I feel protected in his presence. What I can't stomach is his world and what he does. I've dealt with this environment before and solemnly swore never to return.

"It's not fear, Roman, but try to understand. The mafia? I could have handled learning you launder money through your companies, not that you order people's deaths and disappearances. Because I know that's what happens." I try to meet his eyes, willing him to see what's in my soul.

I realize he understands - it's evident in the way he speaks to me as if hearing the thoughts I dare not voice.

"You're the only woman I've ever told the truth about what I do, and don't ask me why because I don't know myself. I have no idea what spell you've cast that makes you occupy my every thought and breath, but one thing is certain - if you walk out that door now, Luna, by this time tomorrow you'll be dead, and no one will suspect a thing." Fury bleeds through every syllable.

I don't know if it's the certainty in his words, my ragged breathing since he mentioned I haunt him, or his declaration that I'll be dead within twenty-four hours if I leave, but it's all too much.

The panic attack lodges in my throat, and God, how I hate this sensation of a knot I can't swallow away.

I squeeze my eyes shut, trying to follow my therapist's advice to anchor myself in the present: I'm in Roman's house...breathe...wearing my ugliest jeans...breathe...feeling the warmth of the teacup...breathe...feeling a hand over mine... My breath catches when I open my eyes to find Roman watching me.

There's pain in his gaze as he restrains himself from coming closer, and maybe it's exhaustion or the desire to stop thinkingso much, but I squeeze his hand and release the breath I've been holding.

"I have to go. I'll be back in a few hours. Luna...just...don't run from me, please. I know this is all hard to accept. I know I haven't answered all your questions yet. For your own sake, for your life, please stay in this house until I return."

All I can do is nod as his hand withdraws from mine and he leaves.

And I want to call him back because the thoughts have returned like a tornado in my head and won't leave.

Chapter 20

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Roman

The cold air hits my face as I walk out the door, and my phone starts ringing. I already know who it is, so I don't bother looking at the screen.

"Yes, Niko," I answer in a tone that I hope conveys I'm not in the mood for explanations.

"Can someone please tell me why we just signed up for a war with the Irish mafia and I'm only finding out now?" he asks in a calm tone, but I hear the undertone.

I hadn't gotten around to informing him and explaining the situation when Anton called to tell me some Irish mafia nobody had broken into Luna's apartment.

The only thing that mattered was knowing she was safe, and if that meant blowing Devin's brains out in front of all his soldiers, I would have done it.

What the hell is happening to me with this woman? This isn't me.

I'm always in control. Always approach things strategically. Since Luna appeared, all I do is toss aside the control that's kept me alive until now.

I wait for regret to come, but it doesn’t appear. I want her. That's all I know. All that seems to matter to the demon inside me.

"It was personal."

That's all I tell him because I don't have the time or patience now to offer the rest of the details, and as I expected, my brother gets the message and sighs. I feel his frustration. He's not stupid and knows everything I do has a reason.

Even if that reason has green eyes and apparent reticence toward me.

"Fine, Ro. I'll come tomorrow to discuss because, for certain, Devin won't sit idly by after his cousin just suddenly disappeared. Let Damien know what happened tonight too. There's a reason that man was there for Luna."

I hang up and head to the car, where the driver waits to take me to the warehouse.

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