Page 75 of The Workaholic Down the Hall

Somehow, the room got even quieter. Noah's smile crumbled and fell. “Aubrey, I need to—”

“Please, Noah. You can't ask me this now, not like this. Please, just stop.”

Proposals were supposed to be romantic, right? They were supposed to be magical. Everything about this felt wrong, forced and hurried and…I'd barely managed asking him to live with us, I wasn't ready for a marriage proposal. Every eye in the room was on me. I was letting them all down. I wished, god I wished, I could say yes. I wished I could be sure this was the right thing. I knew Noah was the right man, the only man for me, but just…Maybe I was broken, but I wasn't ready for this. “I'm sorry,” I said. “I'm so sorry.”

Then, like the coward I was, I turned and ran to my room. I didn't have the luxury of throwing myself on the bed and crying. I took Sophie into the bathroom and stripped her clothes off over the sink. Luckily, the poopy mess hadn't spread to my clothes beyond a small spot on my shirt. I got her in her bath and just focused on the simple task of getting her clean and making her laugh. Figuring out what to do about Noah could wait.

Once she was clean, I got her bundled in her towel and diapered and then I changed my shirt. A part of me hoped Noah would come to find me so we could talk without an audience, but he didn't. I cried for a few minutes while I nursed Sophie and rocked her to sleep, but it was hard to feel too sorry for myself with her sweetness in my arms.

I'd just laid her down for a nap, when there was a small knock at the door. “Come in,” I said, my heart flipping with anticipation. My heart was destined to be disappointed.

“Are you okay?” May asked from the doorway.

“I'm sorry,” I said in a low voice, trying not to wake Sophie. “I shouldn't have run out that way. It was incredibly rude of me.”

May sat on my bed. “My brother is an idiot, but his heart was in the right place.”

“I know. I just…” I rubbed my temples, considering my words. “Did you know we haven't even gone on a real date?”

May shook her head and wrapped her arms around herself.

“I don't know what his favorite food is or what kind of music he listens to.”

May's eyes widened. “But you're his best friend.”

“Because we ate pizza and watched sports every week. We never talked about anything real. We never really got to know each other.”

May shook her head. “I don't buy that. You may not know his favorite food or his favorite color, but you know him. You know he loves his family more than anything in this world, you know he's loyal and a hard worker.”

“Of course.” I tried to find a way to explain it to her. “That's why I fell in love with him, that's why I know he's the person I want to spend the rest of my life with.”

She frowned, clearly disapproving. “If you know that, why didn't you just say yes?”

I gave her a long look. “Things are more complicated than that.”

She sighed. “I know. I just want Noah to be happy, and I know you'll make him happy.”

“I can't just go from being best friends to being engaged with no segue. I want to date him, I want the romance. We've done everything completely backwards. I want some time, just me and him. Is that selfish?”

May shook her head. “I get it, but he thinks you rejecting his proposal means you've rejected him. He thinks he's blown whatever chance he had with you.”

My heart sank. I never wanted him to think that. “I wasn't rejecting him, I was just…I can be a tiny bit controlling sometimes, and—”

“You don't say.”

I rolled my eyes. “I just don't want to rush into marriage. When he proposes, I want to know it's because he loves me as his best friend, as the mother of his child, but also as the love of his life, as his lover and his romantic ideal.”

She whistled. “Tall order, Aubrey.”

“I don't settle.”

“I have an idea,” she said, mischief dancing in her eyes, “if you're willing to accept my help.”

“You can't make any more of a mess of this than I already have.”

CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

Noah

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