Page 62 of The Workaholic Down the Hall

She sighed and frowned. “Really, Noah, I've got no ideas.” There were shadows under her eyes and I hated that I might be causing her pain by pushing her for something she wasn't ready for.

“Just think about it,” I said. “No pressure. Just imagine Christmas in this house, with Sophie and me, if you'll let me be here. What do you envision? What do you want?”

She closed her eyes. I'd begun to think she'd fallen asleep, but then she opened them and focused on me. “I want to spend Christmas day here at the house with you and Sophie and as many of our family and friends as we can get here. I want it to be chaos and noise and good food. I want to laugh and fall asleep full and happy.”

My smile was so big it hurt. She wasn't exactly saying she wanted a relationship, but she was saying she wanted me here, envisioned me here with them. If that was all I ever got from her, I'd…Well, it would be a good start. “Great. I love it. And what would we do all day?”

She smiled, her gaze going hazy. “We could get up early and open presents, have a big breakfast, and spend the day chatting and watching Sophie and her cousins playing with their new toys. When Sophie's older, she can help plan the party. I want her to have some say as she gets older. This should be her tradition, too.”

“It sounds perfect.”

CHAPTER TWENTY

Aubrey

Noah had boxes and boxes of ornaments. I'd expected him to be the sort who'd pick color-coordinated ornaments. He'd never had a tree at his condo, had always gone to Nora's for Christmas, so I'd never seen his Christmas decorating taste. Turns out, it ran to tacky, extremely tacky. Watching him pull out ornament after ornament, each one uglier than the last, had me laughing so hard I woke up Sophie after she'd finally drifted back to sleep.

None of the ornaments matched, they were all bright and ridiculous colors and they were almost uniformly hideous. “Where did you find so many horrible ornaments?” I asked, as he hung a red solo cup ornament next to a wreath composed of miniature shell casings. “Are you attempting to win some sort of redneck tree-decorating award?”

Noah smiled. “I might have gotten a little carried away, but this is our first tree. Christmas decorations are pretty tacky, even when they aren't trying to be, so I figured why pretend?”

I laughed, rocking Sophie back to sleep as I did. “So, this is an ironic Christmas tree?”

He smiled. “Exactly. Plus, it's only twenty-two days until Christmas and all these ornaments were on sale.”

“Shocking. I guess ironic Christmas trees aren't popular this year.”

He hung the last ornament and sat next to me. “Do you hate it? It's not too late to take everything back.”

“I actually love it. We can make it one of our traditions, finding the ugliest, tackiest ornaments to add to the tree every year.”

He wrapped an arm around my shoulders and tucked me in against him. I should have resisted, should have moved away, but it felt nice, having him hold me, and I didn't want to move away. “Good idea. Though I think I won this year.”

“You definitely won this year.”

He straightened and stood, and I felt cold and lonely without his arm around me. It was a good reminder not to get too used to him being around. “Time to decorate the outside of the house.”

I groaned. “I don't even want to know what you got for the outside.”

He grinned, looking far too pleased with himself. “No, I don't think you do. Feel free to nap. I'll be out there for a while.”

He left and I went back to bed, after I got Sophie back to sleep, very happy to take him up on his suggestion.

I woke to the smell of something warm and delicious. It was the first time I'd woken up to anything other than Sophie screaming in days. I glanced over at her bassinet to see she wasn't in it. I had a moment's panic before I relaxed, figuring Noah had her. I climbed out of bed and followed the good smells to the kitchen. Sophie was in her little rocker, just cooing and watching Noah as he stirred something at the stove. He was singing a Christmas carol, really badly. He had no tune at all, and his deep voice had no shot of reaching the high notes in Silent Night. Sophie didn't seem to mind and it was cool to see her awake and not screaming to be fed.

As soon as I stepped into the kitchen and she saw me, though, she let out a cry that made Noah jump and drop his spoon to the counter with a splatter. He spun and smiled at me. “You're up. Sophie and I have been having fun.”

At least that's what I thought he said, it was hard to hear him over the screaming infant. I bent and picked her up. “I'll be on the couch,” I said. I was sure there was a way to nurse her other places, but the height of the armrest on the couch was perfect for getting her to the right position and I wasn't ready to attempt nursing her anywhere else. I got her settled and leaned back against the couch with a sigh. She was so warm and snuggly. I took a moment to really look at her, the tiny details of her face, a combination of both me and Noah. She was so adorable and I loved her energy and her spirit, even when it exhausted me.

“I took her out of your room before she woke up to give you a bit more time to sleep. I hope that was okay.”

“Of course,” I said. “I'm always grateful for more time to sleep. She looked really happy with you.”

He smiled like I'd just told him he'd won the lottery. “I'm happy with her.”

A warm glow of happiness rolled over me and, right behind it, dread. I needed to remember not to get too comfortable, not to expect too much. “Look, you can see her anytime you want. You don't have to make nice with me. I'll never keep her from you, no matter what happens between us.”

His smile fell and something like pain crossed his face. “Aubrey, I…I want to be with you. I want the three of us to be a family.”

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