Page 61 of The Workaholic Down the Hall

“I think I've always loved her, I was just too much of an idiot to admit it to myself.”

“You were afraid of getting hurt,” May said.

Those words were tough to hear coming from my kid sister, but I was enough of a man to admit I wasn't fearless or indestructible. “Yeah, probably. And I allowed myself to be distracted by other things, less important things.”

She nodded. “It's scary to want or need someone as much as you needed Aubrey. Jill told me how you fell apart after she went to work for Alex Owings.”

“I didn't fall apart.” Okay, I lied. I did fall apart, but even then I couldn't admit it was because I loved her.

“I probably shouldn't tell you this, but…That day we took Aubrey out to lunch, before you left?”

I nodded to let her know I knew which day she was talking about.

“I told her how you'd always taken care of all us kids and how I thought you were running the company, working so hard, because you were still trying to take care of us. I told her you'd never really taken anything for yourself.”

May had been so young when I'd moved out, when Mom and Dad moved into the city, I'd had no idea she was aware of all that. “I did what needed to be done. I never regretted it.”

“I told Aubrey all that, because it seemed like she made you happy. I thought she might be the first thing, first person, you wanted for yourself, but she…” She drew in a deep breath. “She's convinced you're still sacrificing yourself, that you're pursuing her because you feel duty-bound to take care of her and Sophie.”

I leaned back in my seat, thinking over conversations I'd had with Aubrey since I'd found out she was pregnant. There was very little I'd said that would contradict her assumption. “Shit.” I ran a hand through my hair, frustrated and bewildered. “How can I possibly convince her that's not the case? How can I show her I want her more than anything else in the world?”

A cry from the back of the house alerted us that Sophie was awake. The screaming moved into the living room and I hurried out there. I wanted to see Aubrey's face when she saw the tree.

Aubrey was looking at Sophie when she walked in, trying to calm the screaming baby. Her hair was up in a messy ponytail and she was wearing a stained t-shirt and yoga pants, but she was still the most gorgeous woman I'd ever seen. The pure love on her face when she looked down at our daughter took my breath away. I may not have intended for her to get pregnant, but I couldn't have chosen a better woman to be my child's mother, a better woman for the both of us. She sat on the couch and didn't look up until Sophie was latched on and eating. She saw the tree first and her eyes widened. She smiled and looked over at May, but May shook her head and pointed to me. “It was all Noah.”

Aubrey met my gaze and her smile widened. “Thank you,” she said.

“I should go,” May said. “I've got…Um, I really just think you two should be alone, so I'm going to get out of here.” She looked at Aubrey. “Call me if you need anything. I'm not working tonight.”

Aubrey nodded. “Okay. Thanks, May.”

I took a seat next to Aubrey. She watched May leave and then turned to me. “It's a beautiful tree. Isn't it a little early, though?”

“Early? I always put my tree up the day after Thanksgiving.”

“But Thanksgiving hasn't even happened, yet…” Her eyes widened. “I missed Thanksgiving. How did I miss Thanksgiving?”

“I assumed May had told you. We sent her home with a plate of food.”

Aubrey shook her head in disbelief. “And I ate it without realizing it was Thanksgiving dinner.”

“Didn't May tell you? We figured you wouldn't want to expose Sophie to germs and all those people, but I assumed May invited you.”

“Honestly,” she said. “Those first few days after I got home with Sophie are a blur. I'm sure she did invite me and I wasn't paying attention or I forgot.”

“Well, we'll just have to have a do-over,” I said. “But today, if it's alright with you, I thought we could decorate the tree. I got a ton of decorations, but if you'd rather pick your own, I can return them and we can go shopping—”

She held up a hand, a smile tickling her lips. “It's fine, Noah. Since I was moved around so much as a kid, I never really had a Christmas tradition and I've never been sentimental about the holiday. I'm sure whatever you picked will be perfect.”

She moved Sophie to her other breast and I tried to imagine what life must have been like for her, always moving around and celebrating Christmas in a different house every year. “I want to change that,” I said. “We're a family now. We can make our own traditions, and I want you to be a part of it from the beginning.”

“Noah,” she said. “I—”

“I'm not saying you have to decide anything or make any promises. I consider you and Sophie my family now, my whole world, and I want to have holiday traditions with you, even if we're never anything more than good friends.”

“That's really sweet,” she said. “But, honestly, it's just another day, I don't feel the need to make a big deal of it. Whatever you want to do is fine.”

That might be fine for her, but it wasn't fine for me. “I picked the tree and the ornaments and a whole mess of decorations. You choose the next tradition.”

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