Page 35 of The Workaholic Down the Hall

He grunted and started the engine. “Men today are dumber than a box of rocks, if you ask me. In my day, a man was grateful for the care of a pretty girl, he didn't toss it away like it was nothing.”

“I appreciate the sentiment, Bart, but I'd rather not talk about it.”

He grunted again and we rode to the cabin, a place that was starting to feel more and more like home, like a refuge rather than a prison, in silence.

Bart refused to let me help carry in the gifts, so I settled on the couch and watched him put everything on the floor at my feet. He said goodbye when he was done. I waited for him to shut the door behind him before I let the first tears fall.

CHAPTER NINE

Aubrey

Noah was sitting at the table, coffee in front of him, when I walked into the kitchen the next morning. I knew he'd carried me to bed, knew he'd slept with me through the night. I should have kicked him out of bed, but it was so much more comfortable to sleep on him than it was to sleep alone and I was mostly asleep and weak.

“Good morning,” he said. “How are you feeling?”

I stared at him for a long moment, trying to figure him out. “Are you just going to pretend nothing's changed?”

“Nothing has changed. We're friends and we're going to have a baby.”

I nodded and stepped into the kitchen, then stopped. “No. I can't do this. I can't pretend we're just friends who are having a baby together when I know that if I wasn't carrying your baby, you'd still be in Atlanta and wouldn't want anything to do with me.”

“Aubrey—”

“Don't tell me any more lies, Noah. Don't try to say kind things to save my feelings. We're having a baby together and we need to be honest with each other or this will never work. I can't keep playing house with you and seeing glimpses that make me think we could be more, only for you to shut me out or act like nothing happened.”

“So, you want us to be enemies?”

I sighed. “No, I just want…Maybe we can be friendly acquaintances, but we can't be friends. It's too hard. It's just…It's way too hard.”

He stood, pushing his chair back. He looked furious, and I couldn't understand why. I was giving him what he wanted. “You left me, Aubrey. I was your friend and you left me and now every time I hesitate, every time I'm not exactly the person you think I should be, you try to leave me again.”

I gestured to the house around us. “I'm not going anywhere, Noah. I'm as stuck here as you are.”

“You're not physically going anywhere, but you're threatening to take yourself away from me in all the ways that matter. I know I said the wrong things to Cody, but whatever is going on between us is none of his business. I wasn't trying to hurt you, I was just trying to get him to back off. I'm trying, Aubrey. I'm really trying and it's never good enough for you.”

I sighed and rubbed my temples. “You're right. I hate it, but you're right. I just can't live in this weird limbo where we're friends who share a bed and kiss sometimes. I need more distance, because I…The truth is that I want more. I want to be more than the friend you happen to have an inconvenient attraction to. I'll try to make this work, but right now…I just need some space.”

“I can give you space.” His arms dropped to hand loosely by his side, his expression shutting down. “And believe me, Aubrey, someday you'll meet the right guy, a guy who can give you time and himself and you'll thank me. You'll be grateful to me for letting you go.”

Tears filled my eyes and I shook my head. Every time I thought I was braced for reality, for the truth, I got hurt again. I had to move on from him, to let go of the idea of us as a couple. “You think you can't be that guy? I know you. You work long hours and put everyone else before yourself. You're unfailingly loyal to your family, and you love them with your whole heart. You're a good man, Noah. One of the best men I know, so don't say this is about you protecting me and admit the truth. You don't want me, not in the way I want you. I can't be your friend unless we're honest with each other.”

I turned and left before he could respond. He didn't follow me. He didn't tell me I was wrong.

***

“You were gone a long time,” I said.

Noah shut the front door behind him and crossed the living room to sit on the floor at my feet. I kept my seat on the couch, nervous about the serious look on his face. He'd left the house more than two hours ago, I'd assumed for a jog, but I'd gotten more and more worried the longer he'd been gone. He was wearing jeans and a t-shirt, so I had to assume the excursion hadn't been a workout.

“I don't ever want you to think I don't want you,” he said. “I've been attracted to you from the first time I saw you, when you walked into my office for the interview in that purple sun dress you covered up with a blazer to make it seem professional.”

I tried to keep a serious, unsmiling expression, but I was too pleased that he'd remembered what I'd worn to be convincing.

He smiled back. “And I've wanted to be your friend since I found you at your desk checking college football scores.”

“Go yellow jackets.”

His smile faded. “I want you, and you're my friend. I like you, and it makes sense for us to date. If things were different, I'd be doing everything I could to convince you to give me a shot, but things aren't different. You're having our baby and the company is in a tight spot. If we tried this and it went bad, I wouldn't just lose you from my life, I'd lose my daughter. I've never done the relationship thing, the commitment thing, and been any good at it. I don't want to lose you, Aubrey, not again.”

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