Page 28 of The Workaholic Down the Hall

“I've had Mimi. I haven't been alone. And that worry, it means you care, that you love this baby already and don't want to lose her. I think there's going to be a lot more worry in the future, so we might as well figure out how to deal with it.”

After an hour wait, we were taken back for the ultrasound and Noah got to see our little girl for the first time. Okay, so he mostly saw a lot of amorphous shapes and blurs on a screen, but we did see a little hand and the profile of her face.

“Is she okay?” Noah asked the ultrasound tech when she was finished.

“The doctor will have to talk to you about that.”

He went ghostly pale and swayed on his feet. “Does that mean there's something so horribly wrong that you can't bear to speak about it?”

I laughed. It was mean of me to laugh at his worry, but I couldn't help it. He was just so adorable. “Have you always been this dramatic?” I asked.

“This is serious.” He glared at me.

Even the ultrasound tech laughed. “I can't talk about the scan because I'm not your doctor. I don't talk about anyone's scan with them.” She put a hand on Noah's shoulder. “But I think it's safe to say your wife is right, you're worrying unnecessarily.”

Noah nodded and a touch of color returned to his face. I wrapped an arm around his waist to make sure he didn't faint and led him out of the room. If he was this much of a mess now, he'd never survive the delivery. I mentally kicked myself and reminded myself he wouldn't be around for the delivery.

In the waiting room, Noah tapped his feet and fidgeted. He picked up parenting magazines, only to flip through them and put them down and fidget again. I hadn't slept well the night before and I yawned. I was having a hard time keeping my eyes open. He looked over at me, wrapped an arm around my shoulders and pulled until I was leaning against him. I listened to his heartbeat and promised myself I could enjoy this platonic offer of comfort and not get attached, but I knew I was lying to myself. I never lied to myself. I'd just enjoy whatever he gave me for as long as he gave it and, when he withdrew it, I'd pick up the pieces and I'd move on. I'd be okay.

I leaned into him and closed my eyes.

***

“I think we should get married,” Noah said. I sank into the couch in the living room of the hunting cabin. I was exhausted. After our appointment with the OB, Nora had still been nowhere to be seen, so we'd had to walk three blocks to the hospital where the birthing class was being held. And we'd had to walk fast, because the appointment with the OB had been considerably longer than expected and we'd been running late. I was glad to have Noah there, but I wished Nora had been there, too. Nora was more likely to be at the delivery than Noah and I wanted to be sure she and I were on the same page. Nora and George had picked us up after the birthing class and returned us to the cabin.

Noah had apparently lost his mind at some point.

“We don't need to get married to be good co-parents.”

He sat next to me and took both my hands in his. “We don't need to, but I want to. You're my best friend, Aubrey, and I want to be in our baby's life. I want us to be a family for the baby.”

“This may shock you,” I said, pulling my hands from his. “But I want to marry a man who loves me. It'll be kind of hard to meet that man if I'm married to you.” I couldn't help giving him a little push. “Unless you want to have an open marriage?”

His jaw tightened and he backed away like I was Rogue and my touch would drain the life force from his body. “I don't want an open marriage. You don't think I could satisfy you?”

The determination in his expression sent my thoughts straight to the gutter. I remembered his hands on me, the warmth of his body over mine, the electricity that had sparked between us and driven me out of my mind with want. I pinched my eyes closed and banished the memories. When I opened them, I focused on Noah, my friend, nothing more. “I want more than a comfortable marriage to a friend who deigns to fuck me so I don't have to look for sexual release outside the marriage.”

He flinched. “I don't think you should use that kind of language in front of the baby.”

He was adorably serious. I loved that he cared so much for our baby already, but I hated that he couldn't see how much he was hurting me. “You're probably right.” I patted his hands. “The point is that our daughter doesn't need her parents to be married to know she's loved more than anything else in the world. We'll make it work, for her.”

He frowned. “And what happens when you find that man who loves you and the three of you become a happy family?”

Pain sliced through my chest, but I forced a smile. He'd never understand how much I wished he was that man who would love me. “I'll never keep your daughter from you, Noah. No matter what happens, I won't do that.”

He nodded, but his eyes had gone dark, almost sad. “Are you hungry? I could heat up some soup, make some grilled cheese sandwiches.”

“That sounds perfect.” I put my feet on the coffee table and leaned my head on the couch back to rest my eyes for a few moments.

“We should open a college fund for her,” Noah said, what felt like seconds later.

I opened my eyes to see him carrying a tray with a bowl and a plate. “I know, but we can't set it up until she's born and she has a social security number.”

He sat next to me and put the tray in my lap. “Are you planning to stay home with her?”

I could afford to stay home with her, but I hated to give up the security of a full-time job with benefits. And, judging by how difficult I was finding enforced relaxation, I wasn't sure Iwantedto stay home with her. I loved to work, I didn't want to give that up. But I wasn't ready to tell Noah any of that, so I stuck to the basics. “I don't think I can. I need health insurance.”

“Will your current health insurance cover you until you get on a new plan?”

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