Page 62 of Rhett

“What happened with the two of you? I know she left, but…”

My stomach twists, but Rhett has shared so much with me. I want to do the same with him. “April is one of the most fun people you’ll ever meet.”

“I already don’t like this conversation,” he teases, and I chuckle, wondering if he can feel it vibrating through him.

“You’re fun.”

“Do you know me?”

“Hey, none of that. There’s never been a time when I’m with you that I don’t have fun.” He might not believe it’s true, but it is. “And while fun can be a good thing, there’s also a time and a place. I didn’t notice it as much until our child was born. I did notice things before—losing jobs, quitting jobs, wanting to go out all the time, but we were young, so it didn’t matter. When we became parents, things were supposed to change. April struggled with that. She always wanted me to ask my parents or Archer to take the baby so we could go out. If I was at work andshe was off, I’d come home to find she’d brought the baby to one of them. We thought maybe it was postpartum depression, but she saw more than one doctor, and that didn’t seem to be the case. I just don’t think she was ready to be a mom.

“It caused a lot of fights because I would want both of us to stay home, and she’d get upset. She’d go out a lot without me. Sometimes things felt better, sometimes worse. We’d go on picnics or trips and feel like a real family, but most of the time, it felt like it was just me and my kiddo.”

“I’m sorry,” Rhett says.

“It is what it is. Still, I thought we were okay. I wanted us to be okay. A few years went by, and we found a way to make it work. My parents…I guess I always hoped to have a relationship like theirs. I wanted it to last. We were actually in a good place when she left. Meadow was five, and things had started to calm down some by then. But she just didn’t want to be a parent. Didn’t want to be married. She told me that one night, then kissed her child goodbye and left. She was in Florida the last time we talked. It’s when we were finalizing the divorce.”

“Jesus, Tripp.” Rhett leans up a bit and turns to look at me.

“Like I said, it was for the best. I blame myself sometimes. I wanted a family so badly. I don’t think I pushed her, and she never said she didn’t want to get pregnant, but looking back, I can see that she never had the same excitement about it. But then if none of that happened, I wouldn’t have my daughter. I can’t imagine a world where I don’t have her. And I think it’s better that it happened when it did. I don’t know how April would have reacted when Meadow shared her truth. I would never want something negative to be tied to that.”

Rhett turns around completely, his stomach against mine. It’s awkward in the small space, his legs bent, and a little water splashing over the edge. “You’re the best father I’ve ever known,the best person I’ve ever known. You make me want to be better.”

“Come’ere.” I grab his face, pull him closer, and fuse our lips together. We kiss until the water gets cold, then dry off and climb into bed.

We talk about life and work and just…everything. We blow each other again, Rhett coming in my mouth and me against my stomach when he pulls off, not quite ready for that.

We don’t sleep all night, and there’s not a doubt in my mind that I’m in love with him. I don’t know what I’ll do if I have to live through losing him too.

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

Rhett

“You’re good atthis,” I tell Meadow, who is absolutely kicking my ass in chess.

I’ve been spending a lot of time here since the night I stayed over. Tripp invites me to dinner or just to hang out—each time Tripp and I sneaking into the shop to touch and kiss and make each other come…

Before that we’d play games with Meadow, watch movies, and even built a snowman. I haven’t done that since I was a kid, and back then, I hadn’t allowed myself to enjoy it. It was one of those few times when Mom didn’t let me or Dad make our usual excuses. Dad hadn’t been happy and had refused to go out with us. It was rare for him to tell her no about anything, but I think he did it because he was upset he’d lost control over me. So I’d felt like I had to pretend I would rather be inside with him. That I was above such childish things, though I’d been a child myself, at least in age. I don’t think I’ve ever been one in spirit.

Today, Tripp invited me over for breakfast. I was here late last night, left, and came back early this morning. Later today they’re spending time with his family. He invited me, but I don’t feel it’s my place to be there. Wouldn’t his family wonder why he brought a random friend?

“My dad taught me. He’s really good too,” Meadow replies.

Tripp’s in the kitchen, making breakfast. He banished us from the room, so we continued the game we started a couple of days ago. “Don’t play Tripp in chess. Got it.”

Meadow chuckles, while I study the board to figure out what the hell to do next. She’s going to beat me, and I really hate losing. Strangely, I’m not sure I’ll hate it as much this time. Partly because it’s to her, but also because I’m enjoying the moments of playing.

“You’re different,” Meadow says, studying me with those blue eyes that look older than thirteen.

“What do you mean?” But really, I know what she means because Iamdifferent. Talia mentioned something similar. I’ve felt the transformation in the last few weeks—longer than that, really—but it’s been even more prominent lately, and it seems I needed to hear it from Meadow.

She shrugs. “It’s hard to explain. You feel more like Rhett. Like the one you were always supposed to be.”

“The one I was always supposed to be?”

“Yeah. You said you were figuring yourself out, and I could see that. It’s like you started to find what you’ve been looking for. I talk like that sometimes, and it’s probably dumb, but—”

“It’s not dumb,” I interrupt. “You pay attention to people and take the time to see what others don’t because you care about them. It’s…special.” It’s the only word I can think to use.

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