Page 33 of Rhett

“It’s cold as hell out here. Can we go inside?” Morgan asks, and I immediately feel dumb for not offering.

I nod, and he follows me in, takes off his jacket, and hangs it beside mine.

“My therapist often talks about how you and I were taught to be jealous of each other, taught not to get along. It’s how he controlled us. If we’d stuck together, he wouldn’t have had that power over us. So yeah, as adults, it’s taken us a long time to get to this place, and we’ve both made mistakes along the way, but we were doing what we were raised to do. We didn’t know any better, Rhett.”

I push my hands into my pockets, unsure what else to do with them. “I should have known better.”

“Why? Why should you have but not me?”

I sigh, walk over to the window and look out. WhydoI feel like I should have known better, but don’t put that same pressure on Morgan? It’s similar to how we all blame ourselves for Ella dying. Maybe I should talk to Talia about it. “I’m the oldest,” is the only answer I have.

“You really believe that, don’t you? That you have more responsibility because of your age.”

“Don’t I?” I turn to look at him. “I should have set a better example. I should have protected you all. I should have been there with Ella and…”

“And it still might have happened. All of us have made mistakes because we’re all so fucked up because ofhim.You’re as much a victim as the rest of us.”

“I kissed the man you love.” Bile burns my throat at my admission.

“And he kissed you too. That’s not easy for me to say, but it’s true. I was leaving. I hadn’t told Dust how I felt—hell, I hadn’t even admitted it to myself. I can’t hold him to a commitment we never actually made. Where’s the fairness in that?”

Jesus, who is this man? I never thought I would hear Morgan say those words, not any of it, and it makes me want to be better too.

“He kissed me, but he wanted it to be you. He was lonely and knew he would miss you. I did it to hurt you.” As terrible as those words are, they’re mostly true. Did I do it because I was jealous? Because I wanted to know what it was like to have someone care about me the way Dusty does him? Yes, in a strange, confusing way, but I also did it to hurt him. “Normal people don’t do that.” People like Dad do. People like me.

“You don’t think there were times when I tried to hurt you too? Because there have been. I’ve wanted to hurt you too. I’ve tried to hurt you. But I don’t want us to be that anymore. I want us to be a family…to be brothers.”

Fuck, I want that. More than want it. I need it. “I’m trying to be better, trying to make changes.” I want to be worthy of Morgan and East.

And of Tripp’s friendship too. And Meadow’s.

“We’re all trying together,” Morgan says, and then I watch as he walks over to my table. “You made this, didn’t you?”

“Yeah.”

“The swing on the porch? The one like Mom’s?”

“That too.”

“And you’ve always loved this? Wanted to do it?”

“I know it’s dumb, but—”

“No. It’s not. It’s amazing, and I’m so fucking proud of you.”

I feel those words, let them soak into me, feed me. It’s one of the first times in my life that I’ve given my younger brother something to be proud of. “Thank you. I’m, um…working with Tripp. I’m sure Dusty told you that.”

Morgan smiles. “How was your first day?”

“Perfect.”

And then, then I’m smiling too.

I’ll never forget this day—both with Tripp and Morgan.

When Morgan leaves, I pull out my phone, and in the section I started forImportant Moments, I put today’s date, then add:First day of work with Tripp;Hug and Conversation with Morgan.

CHAPTER TWELVE

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