Page 2 of Rhett

“None of your business,” he snaps.

“You’re so annoying. Dad can’t even count on you like he can me.” Maybe he can with stuff like helping with Mom, but not other stuff. I’m the one Dad chose to follow in his footsteps. I’m the one he said has the most chance of being just like him.

“You kiss his butt all the time!” Morgan shouts, then slams the door, leaving me standing there alone. I have no doubt he’s going to his best friend Dusty’s house. They act more like brothers than Morgan and I do. Morgan likes him more than me, but more than that, sometimes I can’t help wondering why I don’t have a Dusty. A friend who is like my brother and whom Ialways spend time with. What is it about me that pushes people away?

I start cleaning the kitchen even though it doesn’t really need it, scrubbing counters and scouring the floors. Then I sit at the table with the books Dad bought me about law and government, and I study all the things I already know, hoping to find something new to learn. I must study to get better. If I get better, people will like me, respect me, and maybe, just maybe, it’ll make my dad love me.

*

Twenty-six years old

I can’t believeEast got into trouble at school again. I’m just glad they got ahold of me instead of Dad. When it comes to East, our youngest brother, the more we can keep from our dad the better. He’s not fair with any of us, but it’s worse when it comes to Easton. I do my best to fix it, to keep the peace, but it feels like most of the time, all I do is make things worse.

If I can just make Dad happy, do the things he wants me to do, I keep hoping he’ll change, that he’ll be happy and somehow it will fix his relationship with us, because no matter what, he’s our dad, the only parent we have left, since Mom died after the twins were born. He’s far from perfect, but Mom loved him. She wanted us to be a real family, though I can’t seem to make that happen.

I look around the house for East but can’t find him, so I go out the back door to the woods behind our property. I just got back from law school, and I must admit, it’s difficult being in Birchbark again. As soon as I have that thought, I hate myself for it. What kind of brother, what kind of son am I when I don’t even want to be around my family? I just don’t know how to relate to them, don’t know how to fit in.

I was dealing with college stuff when our sister, Ella, East’s twin, drowned, and back then, all I’d wanted was to be here. I hadn’t wanted to leave for college. Hadn’t wanted to be alone after everything we’d been through, but that had been Dad’s plan for me my whole life. He forced me to go, and in his defense, I pretended to be glad for it.

I make my way through the woods, when I hear East’s voice. Who in the hell is he talking to? All I need is for him to have gotten in trouble for fighting at school and then come out here to hook up with some random girl. Dad will freak out.

He says something, but all I catch is, “Can’t figure out how to make it stop.”

Huh? Can’t figure out how to make what stop?

I see him sitting on a log, but he’s alone. “East? Who are you talking to?”

“Go away.”

He always bites my head off.

But I don’t go. How can I? “Easton, who were you talking to?” I ask again, not stopping until we’re close. His blue eyes are so damn dim, like there is no light left in them. He looks so much like Mom, except he’s missing the joy that clung to her like a second skin, and I wish like hell I could find a way to give it to him.

I want to reach out to him, to hug him, but that’s not what Swifts do. Dad already gives me shit for being too soft on both Morgan and East.

“Nobody! Myself. Jesus Christ. Leave me alone.” East pushes angrily to his feet. “Did you come here to tell me how big of a fuckup I am? Because I already know. I don’t need you to tell me. I don’t need you to be Dad’s fucking errand boy. Stop trying to fix me.”

East turns to walk away, but I reach out and take his wrist. I’m not surprised he thinks I’m only here for Dad. I don’t evergive him or Morgan a reason to believe otherwise. I know they look at me and see him. And part of me wants to be Dad, even as I hate myself for it.

“I’m not here for Dad,” I admit. “I was worried about you. In fact, I was thinking we don’t even have to tell Dad about this. I took care of it, so the school won’t call him.” Our lives are a whole lot easier if we do our best not to anger our father.

“Fuck you, Rhett,” Easton seethes before jerking away.

“Hey. Chill out. Why are you so pissed at me? I’m trying to help you.” When he doesn’t answer and walks away, I follow. “I’m worried about you, East. I know I’ve been gone for a while, with college and law school, but I’m back for good now. I want to fix things with us, to help you.”

Despite the distance between us, I see his body go rigid. I know I said something wrong, but I’m not sure what it could be. “Where’s Morgan?” he asks.

I try to hold back my flinch, but I’m not able to. Of course he’d rather have Morgan. I’m sure they got closer when I was away. “I was just trying to help.”

“How many times do I have to say I don’t need your help?” he growls.

I get it because what the hell can I do anyway? We both know that when push comes to shove, Dad treats East like shit, and I always do whatever Dad tells me to do.

I sigh, look down, hating myself even more for being the way I am…and then, like I’m so good at doing, I walk away.

Unfortunately, I don’t get much of a reprieve. Dad comes home, and all it takes is one look from him to know he heard about East.

“What happened?” he grits out.

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