Page 31 of Demon Shock

“Angry?”

“Your face is very red.”

The flush spread down her neck. Her heart started to race, and I could see the panic grow in her eyes.

“Some of the females in the community think the way we remove their heads is cruel. It makes them angry.”

“Oh. Uh…no, I’m not mad. I would think it’s a pretty quick way to go, and I can’t imagine they feel very much when they’re walking around with other body parts missing.”

“Everyone ready?” Zach asked over the radio before I could say anything else.

Ava reached for it too quickly and almost dropped it. She fumbled with it for a second before bringing it to her mouth.

“Ready,” she said.

“Ready,” Will echoed.

I started the engine and drove for a few minutes as her pulse calmed.

“Zach told you, right?” she asked. “That I saw you change?”

“He did,” I said.

“I’m sorry. I wasn’t really thinking straight after seeing the infected like that. It was a little traumatizing, you know? The infected, I mean! Not you. You were…” She cleared her throat. “What I’m trying to say is that I wasn’t purposely invading your privacy, and I’m sorry that I did.”

She was apologizing for looking at me?

I swallowed my offer to change for her again whenever she wanted.

Don’t be desperate.

Don’t be desperate.

Don’t be desperate.

“I’m not angry you saw me without clothes. The way humans always keep themselves covered is something my brothers and I have adapted to.

“When we’re reborn, we emerge from the pools without clothes. It’s our natural state. Why hide what is natural?” I glanced at her to see if she understood what I was saying andfound her staring at me. Had she misunderstood? Did she think I was telling her I would walk naked in front of her?

“I won’t remove my clothes in front of you on purpose,” I said quickly. “Only to remove infected blood. It’s dangerous to humans, and I don’t know if Pete and Repeat can be hurt by it either.” Repeat was worming his way onto my lap. “I don’t want to hurt any of you.” I petted him until he settled comfortably.

“I’m not upset you were naked,” Ava said. “I felt bad you had to clean up in the snow—that had to be cold. And I feel bad you’re the one who has to kill the infected. If it were me, I think I’d be a little upset and sad. Mostly sad, really. Even though they aren’t healthy people…or maybe even living…they had been living people at one point. Removing their heads has to be a little upsetting.”

I’d never thought of them like that. Rather than seeing what they’d been, I only saw what they were, which was a threat to the healthy humans that remained. A threat to friends like Will, Bram, and Zach and precious females like Ava. But Zach once told me females liked men who could touch their feelings—not just their sex feelings. I tried to think of something full of feelings to say to her.

“It is sad that so many humans were infected before my brothers and I understood what was happening. But only seeing the sadness of what has already happened will blind us to the hope and beauty of what can still happen. That’s what Mary says.”

“Who’s Mary?” Ava asked.

“She is James’ wife. They are the oldest people in the communities. Emily says we should listen to them because they have a lifetime of wisdom. Mary isn’t afraid to look at us naked. James doesn’t let her do it often, though. He says too much is not good for their hearts.”

Ava made a choking sound. I glanced at her. She was staring straight ahead.

“I have so many questions,” she said quietly.

“You can ask any of them.”

For the next hour, I told her about Tolerance and the people who lived there. Stories of Mary and James and the fighting club that Hannah called feight club especially entertained Ava.

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