Page 93 of Wild Desire

Noelle: I was hoping we could talk.

I showed my screen to them. "There. I reached out."

"And follow it up with a phone call in a few hours. If he doesn't answer or respond, then we'll talk about what that means."

My face crumbled. "It means he doesn't love me."

"I saw the way he was with you at the going-away party. He couldn't take his eyes off of you."

Tori nodded. "He looked torn about leaving."

"You think it was being roommates that pushed you two together?" Tori asked with a knowing grin.

"When I was helping him get around, I ran into him in his bathroom. He was naked. It was eye-opening to say the least."

"I bet." Tori giggled.

My face fell. "But the condo is empty without him. I keep expecting him to be there."

Addison squeezed my hand on the table. "Hopefully, he feels the same way."

"He's probably busy with training and publicity. He doesn't even have time to think about me." I was busy, but I couldn't even fathom needing an assistant to answer my phone for me.

Tori winced. "Yeah, that's rough."

Addison straightened. "We've been worried about you. But we're happy that you feel comfortable sharing with us."

"It's nice to have someone to talk to about this." I'd always worried about what it would be like to share with girlfriends. I was worried I'd be judged and found lacking, but that wasn't the case at all. I felt supported.

The girls came around the table and hugged me.

When they resumed their seats, we ordered a round of drinks.

"Hopefully, he'll talk to you, and if not—" Addison looked at Tori helplessly.

"We'll beat him up for you."

My eyes widened. "No."

Tori shrugged her shoulders. "We could get Xander and Walker to do our dirty work for us?"

Addison nodded. "Yeah, that sounds good."

"Thank you for being here for me." Even if we didn't figure anything out, I still felt better. This was what it was like to have friends. They were people you could share your hopes and dreams with. They gave you good advice and not-so-good advice. But they had my best interests at heart, and that's what mattered.

"That's what friends are for," Tori said, and Addison added, "We're just glad you finally realized it."

Ihadn't received an answer to my text, so I followed it up after lunch with a phone call that went directly to voicemail. Killian was busy. I understood that completely. It just sucked because I wanted to tell him how I felt, and he didn't have time to talk to me.

It wasn't anything I hadn't expected, and it was a good reminder that Killian didn't have space for me in his life.

After lunch with my friends, I was convinced I had to tell him how I felt even if it didn't go anywhere. Otherwise, I'd always regret letting him go. I remembered Scarlett saying something about not telling Eli how she felt before she left.

I'd done something similar, and now I was living with the consequences. I couldn't help but feel down about the situation. I was busier than ever with assistant requests at the lodge, and I'd even booked a few spring events after I increased my marketing efforts. But I couldn't shake the lingering feeling that Killian didn't want me.

I always knew it was a possibility. That's why I'd held back. But now that I decided to go all-in, I wanted him to know. I wanted everything, even if it was a fantasy. Wishes didn't come true for girls like me.

I was practical. Realistic. But with Killian, I wanted to be the dreamer. The girl who wished for the stars and got them. Then I'd remember that his life was somewhere else, and mine was here.

---