Page 78 of Wild Desire

"Are you worried that Jeremy isn't looking after your best interests?" I speared a piece of broccoli, then lifted it to my mouth, savoring the garlic-lemon flavor.

He let out a breath. "I'm not sure what to think. We'll see how it is when I go back."

I reached across the table and covered his hand with mine. "If you don't think he has your best interests at heart, maybe it's not a good arrangement for you."

"You don't understand how it works. Everyone around me depends on me winning so that they can get paid. Riley, Jeremy, my publicist."

I removed my hand, feeling slightly rebuffed. "You're right. I couldn't possibly understand what it's like for you."

"Now that I've been away from it for a while, I'm looking at things differently."

I didn't hold out hope that it would make any difference with us. He'd go back and remember how much he loved the spotlight. In interviews, he always had a cocky grin and snappy responses to their questions. He thrived on the competition, the attention, and the accolades. I tried not to think about the gorgeous women on his arm over the years.

I was eating lobster and drinking white wine after having hot sex on the counter with an amazing, attentive man. I should be on cloud nine right now, but I was thinking hard about the future and what it would be like when he was gone.

The apartment would be empty. Even if he had good intentions to stay in touch, the calls would become fewer and farther apart. He'd remember why he was too busy to come home. How much he loved his life when he was racing.

He'd forget all about me.

Killian rose, taking his dish to the sink, rinsing it, and putting it in the machine. "This doesn't mean that anything between us has to change."

I stood and carried the dish to him. "That's a little unrealistic, don't you think? I'll be here. You'll be traveling. We're both busy people."

He closed the dishwasher and leaned against the counter, pulling me between his legs. I rested my palms on his chest, loving the feel of his heartbeat. He was warm and hard, and he was here with me now. We should be capitalizing on the time we had, not worrying about the future.

"I don't want this to be over."

I sucked in a breath. I didn't want to tie him down or ask him to stay or even maintain a long-distance relationship. It was unrealistic, and I wouldn't do that. I wouldn't let myself hope for something more.

He dropped his forehead to mine. "Tell me this isn't the end of us."

The words were stuck in my throat because I couldn't promise him that. Instead, I went up on tiptoe to kiss him. I could do this. I could get lost in him. We had a few more days together. I'd make the most of it because I was positive that he wouldn't be mine after he got on that plane. No matter how much he wished it were different.

I was always the one left behind.

20

KILLIAN

The next few days passed in a whirlwind of therapy sessions, extra workouts to get competition ready, and beefing up my diet.

Noelle was busier than ever between baking and her assistant business that seemed to have taken on a life of its own.

"You need to hire someone to help you," I said to her when she got a request for service at ten p.m. while we were watching TV.

Noelle sighed. "It's a good problem to have, but I don't know where to start."

"What's holding you back?"

Her brow furrowed. "I'm scared."

"Have you researched how you'd pay people who'd do this service for you?" I asked her.

"I looked at delivery companies, and they offer anyone who wants to pick up the service a share of the fee. But I want someone who works for me directly."

I nodded. "Maybe just one person and then expand."

She curled her legs under her. "That way, I can control the quality of the service provided."

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