Page 47 of Wild Desire

"That's what it means when someone doesn't kiss you back. It was awkward." There was no chemistry. Or was that right? I remembered how good it felt to have my lips pressed against his. I was so full of nerves and excitement; I couldn't be sure how I felt about the kiss. Were there sparks for him? There couldn't have been if he didn't kiss me back.

"Are you sure about that? Because the way he looks at you doesn't seem friendly."

"You're looking for something you want to see." Mom wanted to see me settle down with somebody. That's what this conversation was about. "Killian's my employer."

"Hmph."

"I know you want me to be happy with someone, but I'm fine being single. I don't have time for all the baggage that comes with relationships." My father hadn't stuck around, and neither had Christoper and Winnie's. No one stuck around except for Mom and my brother and sister.

"Is it so wrong that I want the best for you?"

I folded my arms over my chest. "I'm happy with my life."

"But you could have so much more."

I frowned. "Like what?"

"Love."

"I love you and Christopher and Winnie." That was all the love I needed in my life. Even if Killian made my heart race, it didn't mean anything. It was just a stupid crush I needed to get over, and fast because I was going to lose control and, at some point, kiss him again. I wouldn't survive the rejection a second time.

"Will you be open to it?"

"Open to love?" I couldn't believe we were having this conversation. "I'm not ready for anything like that in my life. I need my businesses to take off." I needed to feel secure, and I wasn't sure that was ever going to happen. I was constantly looking for the bottom to drop out.

"Yes, open to love. Love doesn't care about money or business. It comes when you least expect it, and it's exactly what you need."

"The way you describe it, it sounds amazing. But it wasn't for you."

"But I'm still open to it. The men I dated weren't cut out to be fathers. But I'm still hopeful that there's someone out there for me."

I blinked away the tears. "I want that for you too."

"And who says you can't have a little love in your life?"

I was fairly certain there was a bad-luck charm hanging over our little house. But I wasn't going to tell her that. "It's just not going to be with Killian. I don't want you to get your hopes up."

"I'm not so sure about that."

The door opened, and Christoper ran in. "We need another someone to play for Killian."

"Hey, now," Killian said from outside.

"I'll be right out," I said to him.

Mom waved a hand at me. "Go have fun. Let loose. You could use more fun in your life too."

"You're full of life lessons today, aren't you?"

"Someone has to kick you into gear. You're content to just let life pass you by." Mom left the room, and I wondered whether that was true. Did I let life pass me by?

Maybe hanging out with Killian for the next few weeks would be good for me. Just not in the way Mom thought it would be. I wouldn't give into my desire to touch him, to kiss him. Not when he rejected me last time. I'd learned my lesson when it came to Killian Wilde. He wasn't for me.

But I could have a little fun.

"Are you coming?" Killian yelled through the window, and I shifted my weight off the counter and grabbed my coat to go outside.

"We're playing H-O-R-S-E. Go easy on the old guy; he's hurt." Christopher gestured at Killian.