Page 62 of Devilish

Oh God, he was actually going to make me say it. But if I didn’t ask I’d never know, would I? But I also didn’t want to scare him off with thoughts of forever if he wasn’t there. “Uh…real?”

Lucien’s lips quirked as he reached over the table and stroked the back of his hand along my jaw line.“You feel pretty real to me.”

“I know.” I put a hand over his, holding it there, and turned my lips into his palm. “But this whole trip has felt like some kind of fairytale?—”

“Not a ‘Knight’s Tale’?” Lucien pursed his lips. “Where’s an opponent to duel when you need one?”

“We left him back in New York.” The words were out of my mouth before I even thought them through, and Lucien’s eyes darkened at the reminder of Rupert.

“Yes, I suppose we did, didn’t we.”

I nodded and let go of his hand, and Lucien picked his mug back up.

“And this.” He gestured at the crystal-blue waters lapping at the side of the yacht. “It all feels a little too good to be true?”

“A little.”

“And you’re worried it’s about to come to an end.”

“Yes,” I whispered. “I can’t help but wonder what comes next for me. What I’m going to do. Where I’m going to go.”

For a second I thought I caught a flash of uncertainty cross Lucien’s features, but if I did, it was gone just as quick.

He tapped the side of his mug with his finger, looking thoughtful. “What do youwantto come next?”

“I don’t know. In the past I’ve either been in survival mode or just accepting of my situation, whatever that might’ve been.” I took in a deep breath and studied the stunning scenery surrounding us. “But for the first time, I find myself wanting more.”

Lucien sat very still beside me. Very quiet.

“You can have it, you know.” His voice was low. “More.”

I didn’t know why, but I felt the sting of tears behind my eyes, and I looked away and blinked them back.

“Kai…” He reached across the table for me again, but this time I didn’t take his hand. I couldn’t, not when I needed to come clean about who I really was. He’d see me differently, but I had to be honest. I couldn’t let myself get caught up in this fantasy any longer without telling Lucien the truth.

“You’ve done so much for me,” I said, keeping my eyes straight ahead. “And it’s more than anyone ever has. You took me in no questions asked, and I’m thankful for that.”

I felt Lucien’s gaze on me as he silently listened, knowing there was more I needed to say.

“I mentioned that my parents kicked me out when I was a teenager.” When he nodded, I continued. “For a long time I didn’t know what to do or where to go. I slept where I could, in different parks, under a bridge. It wasn’t until I met others like me that I realized there were things I could do to survive and keep a roof over my head. So I…” I swallowed and forced it out.“There are a lot of powerful men in the city who just want a pretty plaything.”

A long silence descended between us, but I could see the way Lucien was white-knuckling his mug. Still, he let me continue without interruption, though it had to be killing him. If it were me, I’d have so many questions.

“Sex has always been about survival for me,” I said. “It’s never been something I’ve enjoyed, just something that keeps me off the streets. No one I’ve been with has ever cared about me. I’m an afterthought. Unwanted until it serves their purpose.”

I finally looked directly at Lucien and could practically see the waves of emotion radiating off him. “You’ve changed all that for me.”

His jaw twitched, and when he reached out again for me, I let him take my hand. Instantly, I felt better, more at ease. My shoulders dropped and I sank back into the chair.

“You make me feel so safe,” I said. “You make me feel wanted. Like I matter.”

“Youdomatter.”

I squeezed his fingers gently. “I guess I’m just scared this is all going to go away. This time with you has felt like a dream, one I want to live in forever, but…”

What if you decide you don’t want me anymore?That I’m tainted. Used goods.

“Kai,” he said, then closed his eyes. When he opened them again, I could see his whole heart in those dark depths. “I promised you once that you would always have a safe place, whether you choose to make that place with me or somewhere else. I mean that. No matter what, you’ll never have to worry about where you live or what you’ll have to do to survive again.”

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