Page 41 of The Forever Play

Tears are streaming down my face as I scurry home. I’m doing this weird walking-jogging thing, like my legs can’t decide what to do with themselves. I sniff at the snot dripping out my nostrils and slash at the tears on my cheeks.

He doesn’t deserve my tears.

Fuck him!

How dare he get pissed at me when he was the one who?—

Snapping my eyes shut, I shudder to a stop and sway on my feet, the memories coming back to me with brutal clarity. Without my say-so, I’m taken off this quiet, sunny Nolan street to a dorm hallway at Kelsey U. I swayed on my feet then, too, shock pulsing through me as I watched the only guy I’d ever loved drive a spike right through my soul…

I found Zander’s room with relative ease. Trying to walk those final few steps was a mission. My insides were wrecked as I experienced everything from excitement at the thought of seeing his beautiful face again to the dread of what I had to tell him.

Nerves scattered through me like loose wires, sending electric spikes up and down my limbs as I came to a stop on the linoleum floor.

Zander’s door was only two away. I could see that it was open, and music was pumping out of it.

It was some kind of party mix with a strong beat that thumped and reverberated. It was okay, but not the melodic tunes I always made him listen to when we were driving in his car.

My stomach twisted into a tight ball, and I laid my hand over my belly, an instinctual move, like I was trying to protect my baby’s ears… which were already developing, although according to what I’d read, they still couldn’t hear anything for a while yet.

But still, I splayed my fingers over my stomach and inched toward Zander’s open door.

And then I froze, my eyes rounding to dinner plates as I stared into his room and took in what felt like a scene from a horror movie.

It kind of was.

It wasmyhorror movie.

But rather than blood and guts, it was naked breasts and ass cheeks.

My mouth parted, my stomach dropping to my knees while my heart catapulted into my throat and stayed lodged there. I blinked—tried to wrap my brain around what I was seeing.

Zander was on his bed, his shirt off, his sweatpants twisted around his ankles while a girl knelt on the bed beside him. She was sucking him off, practically choking herself while he fisted her hair and groaned into another girl’s mouth.

She was on the other side of him, her large breasts squished against him while their tongues tangled together and he fingered her from behind.

Breaths started punching out of me.

Or maybe they were sobs.

His hands were all over these girls. His tongue, his fingers inside her. Some other mouth was wrapped around his dick. His body didn’t belong to just me anymore, and it was killing me.

He was oblivious to his audience. He couldn’t even sense me watching him, which a few months ago I would have sworn was impossible. We had a silent call between us, could always tell when the other person entered a room. Could find each other across a crowded cafeteria in a heartbeat.

And now he was sitting on a bed, getting it on with two college girls, and I was standing out in the cold, pregnant with his child and completely forgotten about.

Bile surged within me, my stomach convulsing as I slapped a hand over my mouth and ran.

And I haven’t stopped running since.

Not really.

Because Zander is trying to find out the truth, and rather than telling him why I didn’t want him to be a part of his child’s life, I keep taking off.

But what the hell else am I supposed to do?

The guy I fell in love with was not that guy on the bed.

He was someone I didn’t know. Someone who left me for football…and obviously a whole lot else. He wanted to spread his wings, and I hadn’t realized that meant exploring every other side of himself as well.