Page 37 of The Forever Play

Keeping my eyes straight ahead, I shrug and murmur, “I survived, and… it was worth it. The second she was born, I felt so amazing. She lit me up, you know?”

I glance his way, unable to contain my grin.

His lips curve at the edges, like he’s about to smile, but his eyes are steeped in sadness. “Did she kick and squirm when she was in your belly? What was she like when she was born? I bet she was so tiny. Did she have any hair? Were her eyes blue like they are now?”

Shit. All these little details I didn’t think he cared about.

But look at his face. He wants to know everything.

Guilt hammers me as I nod, then shake my head. “I mean, she kicked a little. She wasn’t a big mover. She’s making up for that now.” I tip my head with a soft laugh. “She’s like the Energizer Bunny some days.”

“I can imagine.”

“And she was tiny when she was born, but her lungswere definitely strong. She had a little hair, and yes, her eyes were the most brilliant blue.”

“Just like yours,” he whispers.

I look back at the ground, unable to cope with the wistful look on his face. I deprived him, and he knows it.

Pulling out my phone, I stop on the sidewalk and find some photos from Zoey’s first few weeks. His breath catches when I show him the first one, and then he drinks in the rest, flipping through the photos until I can’t take it anymore.

“Okay.” I grab my phone out of his hand and tuck it away.

He looks bereft, and I want to tell him that I’ll send them all to him, but the thought of having his contact details in my phone is freaking me out. I got rid of my last one so he couldn’t call me anymore… and now I just want to let him back into my life?

It would be so easy, Sienna. Just give him your number.

I clench my jaw and pick up my pace.

Zander jogs a couple steps to catch up with me. He’s looking kind of pale, a muscle working in his jaw before he says in a husky voice, “Those photos are… amazing. She’s cute. Always has been. Even on the day she was born.”

“Yeah.” I nod, my throat feeling thick and gummy.

“And the birth went okay?”

My shoulder hitches. “It was okay, I suppose. She came out in one piece.”

“And you?”

A broken laugh shoots out of me. “Worst pain of my life. Thought I was going to die. Screamed the walls down. Nearly broke my dad’s hand. Told Mom I couldn’tdo it and it’d be better if Zoey just stayed in there. You know…” My nose wrinkles as I glance up at him. “It was great.”

His laughter is breathy, his expression crumbling. “Damn, Sparks. You’re amazing.”

I look away from him. I can’t see what his eyes are doing right now. It’s too dangerous. If he’s looking at me the way his voice sounds, I’m going to melt into a puddle at his feet.

And I want to beg him to never call me Sparks again… but I can’t, because the idea kills me.

With a loud sniff, I cross my arms and keep staring forward. There’s a coffee cart across the street just ahead of us, and I lurch toward it. “Let’s get a drink. I read that you’re addicted to coffee, so let’s get you an afternoon fix.”

“You what? When?” He pulls me to a stop before I walk out in front of a car I didn’t even see.

I flush, my skin electrified by his touch. His fingers curve around the crook of my elbow, and I can’t help glancing down at his hold on me. It’s so familiar yet so new at the same time.

“Uh, sorry.” He lets me go. “Didn’t want you getting run over.”

“Thanks,” I murmur, then check the street three times before crossing.

Pulling out my phone, I order an iced tea and make sure I pay for myself as well. I don’t want him treating me to anything right now. He gives me a sad smile before ordering his coffee, and we wait beside the cart, staring out at the people milling around the park.

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