Page 2 of The Forever Play

“Me!” Zoey jumps up and toddles toward him, her arms raised. “Me, Unca Russy. Me.”

“Well, hello, little lady.” He crouches down. “Has somebody got a little hungry in their tummy?” He gives her a light poke in the stomach, and she giggles. “Come on, then.” Hoisting her up, he throws her over his shoulder, eliciting more squealing giggles as he dances her out of the room.

I catch his eye, and he winks at me before calling out, “Hey, Al and Beth.”

“Hey, Rusty!” They laugh out his nickname in unison, giving me adoring smiles as my new housemate walks away with our little girl.

“Oh, he is the sweetest.” Mom pats her chest, giving me that look I’ve been avoiding every time Russell comes up in conversation.

“Mom, don’t start. Please.”

“I can’t help it. You two would be so perfect together.”

“Mom,” I whine.

“Well, why not? He’s a great guy. He’s got a secure job. He’s just bought his first home. He’s sweet and adores Zoey. He’s so good with her.”

“You could be the cutest family on the block, Blue,” Dad tries to encourage me, but I can’t help wincing at them.

Glancing over my shoulder, I turn back and lower my voice. “I don’t see him that way, you guys. He’s just a friend. If anything, he’s more like a brother.”

“I know you grew up together, but he’s always been sweet on you. It’s so obvious.”

“No, it’s not. Seriously, Mom, we are just friends.” I pull a face. “I’m not attracted to him that way. There’s no chemistry.”

“You could learn to be attracted to him. And chemistry is overrated.”

“Are you serious right now?” I shoot her an incredulous look while Dad laughs and nuzzles her neck.

She flushes red, and I roll my eyes while she giggles and tries to keep talking. “Okay, fine. But just think about it. There’s never been anyone else since…” Her voice trails off with a pained sigh, and I close my eyes, my chest restricting like it always does when Zoey’s father flashes through my mind.

His face is still so crystal clear in my soul. Probably because I can’t bring myself to delete the last two selfies on my phone. During my raging I-hate-Zander phase, I got rid of most of them, but then I got to my favorite ones and couldn’t move them to my trash. Instead, I stared at our happy faces, laughing at the camera. I was wearing my favorite blue bikini, nestled against his naked torso while a crowd of summer festivalgoers partied behind us. That was one of our best weekends ever.

So yeah, I couldn’t get rid of that photo, or the one of him lying next to me on my bed—the loved-up dreamy looks on our faces said it all. Instead, I brushed my thumb over his gorgeous face and bawled my eyes out.

Our year together had been perfect… until it wasn’t.

My heart spasms, my chest starting to hurt as my broken soul continues to mourn, even after everything that went down. Even though he doesn’t really deserve my tears.

Somedays, I wish I could just stay in that raging inferno of anger and betrayal. It’s less painful than the sorrowful ache.

You know what Ireallywant? To just feel nothing. To be able to hear his name or think about him and feel absolutely nothing. Now that would be bliss.

“You have to move on at some point, sweetheart.” Mom’s voice is soft and encouraging. “Don’t you think it’s time to let go?”

“I want to.” I sniff and swallow, putting my brave face on. “Don’t you think I’ve been trying?”

“You haven’t been on one date.”

“Because I have a daughter who needs me. I don’t have time to date or put myself out there. Zoey is my sole focus.”

“We get that.” Dad nods. “But what happens when she grows up and doesn’t need you anymore? What then?”

Sudden tears make my eyes burn, my throat swelling uncomfortably as I try to counter their questions.

Don’t make me think about my baby girl growing up and leaving me! She’s the best thing in my life!

“Just think about it, Blue. Okay?” Dad’s expression is so sweet, I wish I could jump through the phone screen and hide away in one of his big hugs. He always gives the best hugs.

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