Page 59 of The Forever Play

I don’t remember all of that night, but I’m pretty sure I was having a fucking fantastic time.

Until I woke up the next morning, lying naked in a room full of passed-out bodies. I felt like total shit, my head pounding, my brain a fuzzy mess. A girl I didn’t even know was draped across me, and the condom I’d obviously used was stuck to our stomachs. I peeled it off, nudging her away from me and staggering into the kitchen, reeling that I’d had sex with a girl I didn’t even recognize. I eventually found the trash, and as I threw that wrinkled rubber away, I tried and failed to remember everything that had gone down the night before.

It was the worst hangover of my life, and I didn’t know how I was going to perform at practice that afternoon. I fell asleep in one of my classes and was nudged awake aseveryone was leaving. I felt like throwing up most of the day, but just before practice, Williams took me aside and gave me a combo of No Doze and Red Bull. Fired up on the energy buzz, I worked my ass off at practice and didn’t crash until later than night, when I staggered to my room in a haze.

Running into the Nolan U stadium, I shed my jacket, slipping into the back of the briefing room as the coaches start up their run-through of our upcoming away game. They talk strategies and tactics most of the time, and guys flip through their playbooks. I scan the backs of heads as I lean against the back wall and wish like anything that I’d started my college career here.

Thank fuck Coach Jones took me with him when he left.

I would have been sunk without him, and I swore I’d never go that low again.

When I came back from Everett that Christmas, I dove headfirst into the party lifestyle. Angry and confused over Sienna’s disappearance, I threw myself into becoming a core member of the team… until I found out just how sick their games were getting, and I couldn’t play by their rules anymore.

Shit.

Crossing my arms, I try to shove down my past, wishing like hell it’d never happened. Wishing I could bypass that year of my life and pretend that Nolan U is the only college I’ve ever attended and my Football Frat brothers had my back from the start.

I know they have my back now. Grady was my salvationwhen I first started here, and I love him like a brother.

Glancing over his shoulder, he can obviously sense my gaze on his back, and he gives me a questioning frown.

Shaking my head, I glance at Wily, who is also silently checking on me.

A big smile spreads across his face, and the second the meeting breaks up, he saunters over with a high five and asks me, “How’s papa bear doing? Did you get your little cowgirl down for a nap?”

“What the fuck?” Carson jerks to a stop beside him. “What the hell did you just ask him?”

“Subtle. Thanks, man.” I lightly punch the blond giant in the arm and then have to explain his weird-ass question to the only Football Frat guy who didn’t know.

We walk to the locker room to get taped up for practice while Carson gapes at me, all bug-eyed, and then hounds me with a constant stream of questions.

By the time I’m running out onto the field, he knows as much as I do… except for the part about Sienna seeing me lost in a threesome and all the shit that followed.

None of the guys can know about that.

They’ll never look at me the same, and I’m their captain, dammit. I need them to trust and respect me… and how can they ever do that if they know what an asshole I was?

Shaking it off, I throw myself into practice, giving football everything as I prep for our upcoming away game and try to dodge my undying shame… and the look on Sienna’s face this afternoon.

CHAPTER 23

SIENNA

It’s Sunday morning. The sun is shining, and I feel like total shit.

Zoey had such a restless night. It didn’t help that I was in a foul mood. I think she was vibing off my angst, which stopped her from relaxing into her evening routine, and then she was up and down like a yo-yo half the night.

I hope she’s not getting sick.

I checked her temperature this morning just in case, but she seems happy and bright despite her lack of sleep, so it’s just me who feels like I’ve been hit by a bus.

When I shuffled out to the kitchen this morning, Russell took one look at me and sent me back to bed. I took him up on the offer. He’s around all day, and I may as well take advantage.

But I can’t sleep.

I’ve tried for nearly an hour, tossing and turning in my bed. My brain won’t switch off.

I keep reliving my last conversation with Zander.

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