Page 45 of The Forever Play

It’s been three days since I ran away from Zander, and my emotions have been on a roller coaster ever since. It doesn’t help that I currently have my period and I’m feeling bloated, nauseous, and headachy.

I woke up this morning and instantly knew that today was going to be too much for me, but there was nothing I could do about it.

Russell’s at the hockey arena all day, Mrs. Ward is away visiting her own grandchildren, and it’s not like I can call Zander for help because he’s a college athlete with an insane schedule—from what I’ve researched—and besides, I have no way of getting in touch with him.

And it doesn’t help that I’ve just had the worst phone call with my parents ever. They didn’t even say hi when I answered. Mom just launched into an irate diatribe.

“You went for a walk with Zander Donohue?” She was bristling, her cheeks all red.

I bulged my eyes at her and gasped. “Russell told on me?”

“He only called because he cares about you, Blue.” Dad’s voice was firm. “Which is a lot more than I can say for that jackass who got you pregnant, then went off and tried to pierce every vagina at Kelsey U.”

“Ewww, Dad!” Why does he always have to describe stuff in such a gross way?

“I can’t believe you spoke with him, let alone went for a walk with him. Sienna, don’t you remember what he did to you?”

“Of course I do, Mom.” I shut my eyes, not wanting to look at them for this painful conversation. “I just… he found out about Zoey, and he deserved some kind of explanation.”

“Well, I hope you gave it to him. In graphic detail!” Dad fumed. “I hope he knows that leaving his door open for his little porn show routine was abhorrent, and he doesn’t deserve to even breathe the same air as our sweet little Zoey!”

Thank God my daughter heard her name, because she came running into my bedroom yelling, “Gammy! Papa!”

She distracted them for me, giggling at the phone while they put on happy voices and asked her how Piggy Watson was doing. She held him up to the camera and started babbling incoherently.

They asked her if she took him to the park, and she told them she played with Foobawl.

Thankfully, they thought she meant the ball and not the person. She kept talking so fast that it was basically impossible to understand her, but my parents acted like they totally knew what she was saying.

I got a ten-minute reprieve before she got bored and wanted to go back to her toy zoo animals.

With a smile and nod, I took the phone back from her, dread rolling through me the second she left the room and my parents kicked back into “lecture mode” like there’d been zero break.

I sat there and took it, my anger at Russell simmering deep and hot. I couldn’t believe he sold me out. What a fucking putz!

I felt kind of bad thinking about him that way, but come on. He’s supposed to be my friend, and he’s talking about me to my parents behind my back.

In the end, my simmering anger started to bubble and brew, and I took it out on my parents.

“Okay, you need to stop! Zander knows about Zoey. It’s out there. And yes, he made big mistakes, but he deserves to at least see his daughter. He has now. Twice! And he was really sweet with her both times. I love my daughter more than anything, and I’m not about to let her get hurt, so can you guys please just trust me!”

That shut them up… mostly.

In the end, they gave me weak nods and forlorn smiles before Mom plunged the knife in deep and hard. She did it in the softest voice, but I still felt every inch of that blade.

“He had such a hold over you in high school. You don’t think straight when you’re around him. You need to be careful, Sienna. Don’t let yourself get caught in his web again. He’ll destroy both you and Zoey if you’re not careful.”

My ears, eyes, and nose were burning by the time shewas done, and thank God I had the excuse of a playgroup to get to.

I hung up pretty damn quickly after that and got Zoey ready.

And now I’m standing outside this indoor play center I’ve never been to before and rallying my fraying nerves. Hitching Zoey onto my hip, I open the glass door and hope the other mothers are nice. I don’t think I can handle another lecture today.

When I emailed the organizer of this particular playgroup on Monday, she seemed very pleasant, but I’m trying not to get my hopes up. This could be a total disaster, and I need to prep myself for that.

The yell and squeal of kids playing is the first thing that hits me, followed by the laughter of mothers who are clustered together, sipping coffees and watching their toddlers run around like wild animals. I stand and watch them for a moment, observing the mothers who seem oblivious to their children’s antics and the ones who are up and down, barely stringing two sentences together before they’re racing across the padded floor to break up a fight or rescue their child.

“Pay?” Zoey asks me, blinking her big blue eyes.

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