Page 44 of The Forever Play

“No way.” I shoot off the bed and start pacing. “You’rethe only one who knows. You and Coach Jones… and even he doesn’t know every little detail. I need to keep it that way.”

“But telling her the truth might open up some doors for you guys. Really break down the barriers, you know? If you let her in on this, you’re showing her that you trust her and?—”

“She can’t know about the fucked-up shit I got into. She’ll never forgive me.”

Monica tries to argue, “You weren’t responsible for?—”

“I was!” I cut her off before she says it out loud. “Sienna can never know. End of discussion. It’s a miracle it wasn’t publicized.”

“No, it was a hell of a lot of hush money from the right people that kept that quiet. The college couldn’t afford that kind of scandal, and the donors stepped up big-time. My point is you don’t have to be ashamed for?—”

“Yes, I do!” I bark, then pinch the bridge of my nose and mumble a string of curses.

My sister goes quiet, letting me pace and huff like a rhino.

My room is too fucking small sometimes! I feel like I’m back in that jail cell again, walking a trench into the floor.

“Do you want her back?” Monica finally asks.

I stop, staring at my reflection in the full-length mirror. “What?”

“Are you just after access to Zoey, or do you want to win Sienna back?”

“I…” I’d given up on that dream a long time ago—when she ghosted me and I thought I’d never see her again. “I don’t know. I just… Ihaveto be there for mydaughter. I can’t even explain why I feel so strongly about it, but it’s this burning in my chest, Mon. There’s a little human on this planet who I helped create, and I have to watch her grow. I just have to.”

“Okay.” Monica’s calm voice takes the panicky edge off mine.

“Okay.” I nod.

“Well, you’re going to need to find some kind of peace agreement with her mother… the woman who you are probably still a bit in love with.”

“Monica.” I close my eyes.

“I’m just saying.”

“Well, don’tjust sayanything. I have to focus on Zoey first. My love life has nothing to do with being a parent. And are you honestly telling me that I should be contemplating a relationship with the girl who totally ghosted me and broke my heart?”

“Sounds like you broke hers first, bro.”

A gut-wrenching groan fires out of me, my legs buckling as I crumple to my knees on the floor.

“But let’s keep the focus on Zoey, shall we?” Monica’s voice brightens, like she’s trying to shine a light into the dark abyss that I’m wallowing in. “Cute name, by the way. Nice that Sienna kind of went for a female Zander.”

“What?” I blink, glancing at my surprised reflection in the mirror.

“Zoey, it starts with a Z. Zander starts with a Z. I wonder if she did that intentionally.”

My lips part, and now I’m gaping at myself, my insides in chaos as my sister fucks with my brain some more.

“Anyway, the point I’m trying to make is… Sienna is the only thing stopping you from having a relationship with your daughter, which means you might have to compromise and open up a little. Let her in, so she’ll let you in? You get me?”

“Monica,” I groan. “I can’t.”

She tuts, her voice getting all clipped and businesslike. “Then you need to be prepared for the fact that you might lose her all over again. And this time will be way worse, because you’ll lose your daughter too.”

CHAPTER 17

SIENNA