Page 39 of The Forever Play

But I lost that chance when I broke up with her, didn’t I?

Damn… I lost way more than I counted on.

Regret always sits heavy in my chest, but this afternoon it’s turning my heart into a punching bag. I can feel every fucking blow.

Glancing over her shoulder, Sienna lifts her shades and gives me a pointed look. Her blue eyes are still so sparkly, and I can’t help drinking her in. I must look like a drunken idiot as I dribble to a stop and just stand there gazing at her.

“Would you stop walking behind me? It makes me feel like I’m being stalked.”

“Sorry.” I pick up my pace. “I wasn’t sure if you wanted me next to you.”

“It’s fine.” She huffs, making me feel like it’s anything but fine.

Shit. This walk is the worst fucking idea ever.

Why am I putting myself through this?

“So… how are your parents?” Sienna asks, although it’s obvious she doesn’t really want to know. It’s not hard to sense the low-lying anger she still has for them. She probably blames them for our breakup. They made no secret about not loving our relationship. They really did put the pressure on me, telling me repeatedly that I was too young for a serious relationship. In the end, I bought into their sales pitch.

Worst decision ever.

I close my eyes and force myself to reply in an even tone. “Yeah, they’re still doing that whacked-out ‘we’re divorced but can’t stay away from each other’ thing.”

She hisses. “Still fighting a lot?”

“Only when I’m there. I think. I don’t actually know.”

“You’re not in touch?”

I open my mouth to respond but can’t. Shit. She can’t know everything that went down my freshman year. In the end, I settle for a lame half-truth. “We still see each other for holidays, and Dad always comes to the big games he can get to.”

“I bet they watch every one of them.”

“Oh yeah, and I always get texts about those.” I nod. “Talking football with them is easy, so I tend to stick with that.”

“Okay.” She sips her tea, and I miss with an ache how easy it used to be to talk to her. I want that back so fucking badly.

“How are your parents?”

“On a cruise.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. When we first left Everett, we traveled around the country in our camper van. I finished school online, and then Zoey was born and we settled in Sacramento for a while, but then they got antsy and we hit the road again.”

My stomach curdles, picturing Zoey as a newborn, all wrapped up in Sienna’s arms and I’m nowhere to be seen.

“We kept going for another six months or so, but I could tell my parents were ready for more. They wanted to get overseas and were talking cruises. I couldn’t imagine dealing with Zoey on a boat, so I encouraged them to go on their own. That’s why I moved in with Rusty.”

“Rusty?”

“Yeah, Russell.” She tucks a lock of hair behind her ear. It still looks as silky as it used to be. My fingers itch to run through those long waves again. I loved it when she let me play with her hair. “That’s just his nickname. It pops out sometimes.”

A flash of jealousy rips through me with surprising speed and vehemence. I hate that she has anything to do with that fuckwit.

But I can’t let it show, right?

So I attempt an unaffected smile. “You guys seem pretty close.”

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