Page 34 of The Forever Play

“I understand.” Coach’s voice is so soft and soothing. I glance at his face, waiting for the shame my dad would no doubt make me feel. I impregnated a teenage girl. I did exactly what he told me not to. In Dad’s mind, I’ve probably ruined my life.

Shit, in Dad’s mind, he’d probably tell me to forget about it and move on, focus on the game, make something of myself.

But how can I turn my back when I know I have a kid out there? A beautiful baby girl… and her beautiful mother.

Shit, seeing Sienna again was…

I can’t even deal with that emotion on top of everything else.

“I know I need to be a part of her life, but Sienna is obviously against it. She fucking hates me.” I frown, waiting for Coach to tell me off for my language—the guy talks like a saint—but he doesn’t say anything, just sits there quietly while I bob my leg and come up with an idea I detest, but maybe it’s one I have to accept. “I mean… should I just leave them alone? They’ve obviously been doing fine without me. Zoey’s a really happy kid. Sienna seems like a great mom. Maybe I should…” My throat swells, and it’s a struggle to get the words out. “Bow out. She doesn’t want me to be a part of it, and I don’t want to cause her any more pain or stress or?—”

“Son.” Coach stops me with another squeeze to my shoulder. “You have to pursue this. Being a parent is one of life’s greatest privileges. I have four kids, so I should know.” He grins. “This is your child we’re talking about here, and you’ll regret it forever if you don’t fight for a chance to get to know her. Whatever’s going on between you and her mother, you need to resolve it enough that she’ll let you be a part of your little girl’s life.”

My head is bobbing before he’s even finished talking. Relief floods through me because he’s just said everything I needed to hear.

Not that I was waiting for his permission or anything, but I respect the guy, and to have him agree with what I truly want is just the bolster I need.

I turn to him and softly rasp, “Can you help me?”

“Of course. What can I do?”

“Uh, well… I’m pretty sure she’s living with a man called Russell Fisher. He’s an assistant coach for the?—”

“Men’s hockey team. Yeah, I’ve met him.”

“Me too. Unfortunately,” I mutter.

“Check yourself,” Coach softly warns me. “I don’t need to know your opinion of another staff member.”

I grit my teeth, clenching my fist and tapping it on my knee. “Is there any chance you could give me his address? Or a way of finding him?”

Coach presses his lips together and rises from his chair. “I’ll see what I can do. Let me have a talk with him and see if I can get you his address or at least a phone number so you can set up a meeting.”

“He doesn’t want me anywhere near Sienna and Zoey. He told me to leave them alone.”

“Hmmm.” Coach scratches his jawline. “Leave it with me. I’ll get back to you as soon as I can. Even if we set up some kind of mediation session or something.”

“Thank you, Coach.” I rise from my chair and end up hugging the guy.

That wasn’t my plan, but my arms just wrapped around him before I could stop myself.

He gives me a tight squeeze before pounding my back a couple times and letting me go. Looking up at me with a reassuring smile, he lightly pats my cheek. “It’s going to be okay, son.”

I nod and dare myself to believe him as I walk out of his office.

CHAPTER 13

SIENNA

My fingers tap on my keyboard as I do a little research on playgroups in the local area. I promised Mom that I would, and I know she’s right. Zoey needs to learn to play with children her own age, and I can’t keep delaying just because I don’t feel like hanging out with a bunch of moms who are older and more mature than I am.

“This isn’t about you, Sienna. It’s about Zoey.”

And of course Mom’s right.

I cut everyone off when I was pregnant, too heartbroken and… I don’t know, ashamed? Too fragile to have to explain why I was keeping the baby or why I didn’t want Zander to be a part of it. Too vulnerable to walk the halls of my high school with a growing belly. I couldn’t do it. So, I ran. And my parents sheltered me and kept me safe through it all.

At the time, it felt so right.

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