Page 27 of The Forever Play

“Russell?” My head snaps up. “You spoke to him?”

“Yeah, a couple days ago.” Zander’s eyebrows wrinkle in confusion. “He didn’t tell you?”

I shake my head, my stomach curdling. Why wouldn’t he say anything?

Biting my lips together, I swallow and can’t understand this twinge of guilt pinching at me. I shouldn’t feel guilty. Zander didn’t deserve to know about Zoey. Not after the way he behaved.

But maybe he did.

I glance back up at his face, and those sad, desperate eyes are doing me in.

“Pay?” Zoey lets me go and toddles over to her spade. Holding it out to him, she gives him her best puppy dog eyes and asks again, “Pay?”

“I’d love to play with you.” He smiles down at her, then looks to me, silently pleading for permission.

Oh my gosh, I think he is legit going to cry—something I’ve never seen him do. My heart buckles without my say-so, and before I can stop myself, I’m nodding.

“Thank you,” Zander mouths before crouching in the sand and making my heart bleed.

Zoey hands him the spade and then shows him what to do. He helps her dig some big piles—way bigger thanmine—then laughs as she jumps on them, catching her when she topples over and protecting her head. His hands are so big, his arms so strong. Zoey is so safe beside him, and I’m fighting tears as I sit there cross-legged watching the man I swore I never wanted to see again having fun with my daughter.

Ourdaughter.

I rub my stomach, trying to ease the pain that seems to have lodged itself there.

This is not the Zander I saw at college. This man here is the Zander I fell in love with in high school.

Snapping my eyes shut, I avoid looking, desperately trying to harden my heart against how sweet he’s being with my baby girl. Desperately trying to convince myself that not trying a second time to tell him I was pregnant was the right thing to do.

“It’s Zoey, right?” he asks. “With ay?”

My eyes snap open and I stare at him. His face is so beautiful, his expression so sweet.

Shit.

“Yeah.” I clear my throat and nod. “Yeah, with ay.”

“It’s a really pretty name. I like it.”

It was the closest girl name I could think to Zander, but I can’t admit that to him.

“Does she have a middle name?”

“Uh, yeah… Beth, for my mom.”

“Nice.” He nods. “Zoey Beth Erling. I like it.”

My expression buckles and I look at the ground again, wondering if it’s hurting him that his last name isn’t attached to her at all.

Zander builds another mound, and Zoey jumps on itwith glee, giggling when she falls over. Zander catches her, propping her back on her feet, and she gives him an adoring smile. “Foobawl.”

He laughs. “I’m Zander, but you can call me Football if you want to.”

She giggles, then suddenly takes off toward the swings. Used to her erratic shifts at the playground, I get up and automatically follow her. There’s another boy on her favorite swing, and I want to make sure she doesn’t kick him off. It’s been known to happen.

“This one, Zo.”

“Dis one.” She points to her favorite.

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