Page 19 of The Forever Play

“’kay!” She jumps up, her little legs pumping as she runs into my room and grabs my device. I bought an industrial, kid-friendly case as soon as I decided she was old enough to play a few games on it. She’s probably still not old enough, but since moving to Nolan and not having my parents around, I’ve found myself at a loss every now and again… and the iPad has been a lifesaver.

I really need to look into finding some playgroups or toddler classes Zoey and I can participate in. I need some regular things to fill the week. I’ve been here coming up on six weeks, and I can’t use my “settling in” excuse anymore.

And I definitely shouldn’t use my “emotional crisis” one. If anything, playgroups might help distract me from this gnawing dread in my stomach.

Zander’s in Nolan.

He’s in Nolan!

Part of me wants to pack my bags and move. But where the hell would I go?

I don’t want to live alone, which is why I moved inwith Russell when he invited me. I’d opened up to his sister, Celeste, about my parents and the cruise and… well, two days later, I got a call from Rusty asking if I wanted to come live with him so my parents could go do their thing. It’s just for six months and it felt like the perfect solution. He’d just moved to a new place, he was needing a little company himself, and it felt like all the stars were aligning.

But what the hell, stars? You completely duped me!

They never warned me that my ex would be walking the same streets as I am. No doubt attending the same college Russell is now coaching at. Thank God Zander isn’t a hockey man. The thought of him and Russell ever seeing each other makes my skin crawl.

Yeah, I made the mistake of venting in front of Celeste and Russell one afternoon, and they found out the full story. Russell has seriously hated Zander ever since.

Closing my eyes, I start praying that Russell never finds out Zander is at Nolan U.

Unless he already knows and has just been trying to hide it from me.

Did he know Zander was here when he invited me to stay with him?

Surely not. There’s no way he would have been okay with this.

My stomach churns and writhes, making me feel ill.

“Here go.” Zoey toddles back into the room hugging the iPad to her chest.

“Wait, wait, wait. You have to clean up the blocks first.”

Her bottom lip sticks out in a pout.

“Don’t give me that look. You know how it goes. We pack away before we do something new.”

“But latwer.”

“No.” I shake my head. “If you want to play with these later, you can get them out again.”

Huffing like a bull, Zoey stamps her foot.

I tip my head, feeling calm enough to deal with this right now, but hoping like hell that it doesn’t escalate.

“Zoey, there’s no iPad until you pack these away. I know you don’t like that, but it’s just the way it is. Now, I can help you if you like and it’ll get done faster, or you can stand there stomping your feet and you’ll get less iPad time than you want.”

I’m not sure if she followed all of that—two-year-olds aren’t exactly known for being reasonable—but I smile at her sweetly, hoping she’s picked up enough to understand. Hoping I can avoid a mini meltdown. She’s pretty good at those when she wants to be.

Damn, I should have gotten her to pack the blocks away before I even let her get the iPad.

Rookie mistake, Sienna. Up your game, girl, or it’s gonna be a tough day.

I snort in my mind. A tough day? It alreadyisa tough day.

If I could just shake Zander from my mind, I’d be fine.

I sit there waiting for Zoey to bend, dodging thoughts of my ex and the look on his face when he saw me.

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