Page 13 of The Forever Play

“That’s really, sweet. Thanks.” I force a smile. “But I can put her down. Then I think I’ll take a nap as well.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah.” I reach for my daughter, needing her chubby little arms around my neck, needing her soft hair ticking my exposed skin, needing her weight against my chest.

Cradling her in my arms, I don’t even mind when shewipes her snotty nose on my shirt. She’s getting grizzly, so I hurry through her diaper change. I need to start potty training her soon. From everything I’ve read, she’s showing me signs she’s ready, but I just wanted to get settled into Russell’s place first.

It’s been five weeks, Sen. You’re settled.

Swallowing back an unexpected sob, I try to ignore the fact that Zander and I have probably been living in the same town for over a month, and I didn’t even know it.

Shit, had we passed each other in the street and not even realized?

Picking up Zoey, I rock her in my arms for a minute before laying her down in her crib. She grabs Piggy Watson and Professor Lovebug, squeezing them in her arms before curling onto her side. I rub her back, watching my precious angel fall asleep and still trying to wrap my head around the fact that she was talking to her father less than an hour ago.

Her father.

The man who didn’t even know she existed.

I never thought I’d be the type of woman to keep something like that a secret. But I also never expected Zander to change so much when he left for college.

I couldn’t bring a baby into his life. After what I saw, I didn’t want to bring him back into mine.

But how different would things have been if he’d known the truth?

A shudder runs through me as my mind skips over the last time we were together and straight to the doctor’s appointment that changed my life forever…

The doctor’s office was cold and sterile. I didn’t like it. But if this woman would help me figure out why I kept throwing up all the time, then I was willing to stay in my seat. At first I wondered if it was pure heartache. Zander had been gone for over a month, and I knew that I was supposed to be getting over him and enjoying school, but I missed him so much. Walking the halls knowing I wouldn’t be seeing him around the corner… knowing I couldn’t wait for him after football practice… knowing he wasn’t going to be holding me anytime soon… It was a killer.

I’d been miserable ever since he broke up with me, except for that one perfect night when we said our final goodbye. I wanted that night back. I wanted it back over and over again.

Mom took my hand, giving it a little squeeze and looking as worried as ever while the doctor typed notes and continued asking questions.

“She’s been throwing up for about a week and half,” Mom explained. “At first I thought it was just a stomach bug, but the fact that she’s still so ill makes me wonder if she might have something really nasty, like campylobacter or gastroenteritis. Can she be tested for those, please?”

“If that’s what we need to do, we definitely will. Let me just ask a few more questions first.” The doctor smiled kindly at me. “Have you had any fever?”

“No,” Mom answers for me, obviously mystified by this. “No fever, no rashes, no diarrhea. She just can’t seem to hold her food down.”

The doctor nodded, then looked at me, her gazepenetrating my inner core and only exacerbating my anxiety. “When was your last period?”

“Um…” I frowned, confused by the question. What did my period have to do with a stomach bug?

Mom stiffened beside me, her eyes going wide as she turned to hear my answer.

“About three or four weeks ago? My next one’s due any day now.”

The doctor nodded again, tapping into her computer. “And how was it?”

“I’m sorry?”

“Your last period. Was it normal? Heavy? Light? Anything different about it?”

Mom’s breath hitched, and she started blinking really fast.

I frowned at her and started blinking myself. “Um… I guess it was kind of light for me. More kind of spotting for five days or so. Usually, I get this like heavy flood for about two days, and then one day later, it’s over, but I guess it just decided to go long and slow last month.”

“Okay.” The doctor bit her lips together, typed a few more notes, then looked between my mother and me. “Sienna, are you okay with your mother staying in the room with us?”

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