“It’s not funny! It’s freaking scary, Harrison,” I scold. “How safe is that?”
“I-I can’t even,” he wheezes. “He went and got a sidecar so he could get away with taking Elodie for a ride on his bike. Oh, fuck. It hurts.” I turn to see what is causing him pain only to see him digging his fist into his stomach. He’s now laughing so hard, he’s practically doubled over. Presently, the sight before me, has me wanting to shove my foot up his ass since he’s in the perfect position.
“You’re ridiculous,” I reprimand. “She could’ve gotten hurt in that contraption.”
“From the clubhouse to here? It’s a three minute ride, and look at that,” he tells me, pointing at the capsule of death. Inhaling in order to keep from losing my shit, I glance over at my daughter and my eyes bug out. He has a set of straps crisscrossed over her shoulders that keep her bound and restrained, like a child's safety seat has. I’m reminded of a carnival ride, actually, only I didn’t give permission for my daughter to go on this particular one nor is she truly tall enough to do so! When he pulls off a football helmet from her head, and I see her gleaming smile, that part of me that was ready to skin Icer calms.
“I added an airbag!” Icer exclaims, pointing at the space in front of Elodie.
“How did you do that?” Harrison asks, walking away from me to examine the death contraption. “Is that a steering wheel?”
Ofcourse, Harrison is enthralled at the modifications that Icer’s made to this steel coffin. He’s never been a parent, so hispriorities are obviously skewed. I have absolutely no words I can utter at this point without completely losing my shit, so I opt to bite my lip instead.
“Sure the fuck is,” Icer proudly states. “I bought one from the Chevy house because you can never trust a Ford,” he teases, which has Harrison staggering back and looking at him as if he’s a complete stranger.
“Look at my suit, Mama!” Elodie exclaims as she waddles over to me. She looks like the Michelin man, which now has me biting my lips to keep from grinning. “Mr. Icer wanted to be sure I was safe!”
With her words, I drop my head in defeat and quiet acceptance. I’m beginning to understand what Harrison meant when he said Icer does what he wants without any fear of consequence or repercussion. As far as he’s probably concerned, because Elodie is in something that resembles what an astronaut wears when they lift off to space, she was strapped down,andthere’s an airbag in the sidecar, it’s all good. If I survive Icer’s involvement with Elodie, it’ll be a damn miracle. I think I may need to find a hairdresser as well because I’m going to be sprouting gray hair from the future antics and shenanigans Icer will undoubtedly involve my daughter in.
“Did you have a good day with your Uncle Icer?” I ask her as I kneel down and begin unraveling her from the homemade suit.
“It was the best ever!” she cheers. “We had to watch one of the pros… pros people while they cleaned the toilets.”
“You did?” I ask, my eyes growing wide. “Um, may I ask why you were doing that?” My gaze lifts up to Icer who’s grinning from ear to ear.
“Serpent needed to be taught a lesson about respecting one of the brothers and that’s how I taught it to him,” Icer excuses, shrugging his shoulders like it’s no big deal that my daughter, who isn’t even in school yet, supervised grown men as they scoured and scrubbed toilets. “Being a prospect and then getting watched over by a five year old is a lesson in humility, and once he brushed by Shade without acknowledging him, after being given a direct order, he got what he deserved.”
“And through all of that humiliation, did he respect Elodie?” Harrison asks, a growl added to his timbre.
“You think he’d still be breathing if he hadn’t?” Icer returns, his face more serious than I’ve ever seen it before.
“So, this Serpent guy, he’s still alive and breathing?” I probe, because if the alarming vibes pouring off of him are any indication, it was a close call.
“A little bruised, possibly a cracked rib, but he’s still walking upright,” Icer clarifies. When he notices my mouth gape open, he quickly adds, “None of it was done in front of the princess.”
I simply nod because what is there to say to that? Nothing. Again, I find myself accepting things that traditionally I’d be arguing against. Violence isn’t the way to solve issues, but this is a totally different lifestyle than I’m used to and I’m still adapting to it and seeing as I don’t know all the ins and outs about how the club works, it’s best to just keep my trap shut. In essence, as long as Elodie isn’t subjected to any of the carnage—I can deal and mind my own business while keeping my nose clean by not asking questions to things I’m not sure I want the answers for.
“Well, alrighty then,” I settle with saying then quickly change the subject, “Dinner? Any requests?” The men, more precisely, Icer,have been at my dinner table every night since I invited them into my home.
“It’s Tuesday. Isn’t that taco night?” Harrison asks. “If so, Mama Maria’s is having a family box special. Half price as long as you order before seven. I can drive by and grab a couple since it’s just hit five past six.”
“A couple? There’s forty tacos and twenty burritos in those meals. How hungry are you?” I ask, quizzically. For men as fit as these guys are, I don’t have any clue where it all goes. Their abs are hard as steel and I’ve seen them shirtless a time or two, there’s not an inch of fat on either of them. It’s actually quite disturbing because I swear when I even walk by a carb, the calories immediately jump from the food onto my hips.
“We have some rodents to vacate tonight so we’ll be starving,” Icer informs me.
“Rodents? I don’t have any rats, right?” When they glance at each other and have a silent conversation I commence to freak the fuck out. “For fuck’s sake, why didn’t you tell me this before now?” Holding my fingers up in the air, I begin ticking off the things that I don’t tolerate in my home. “Harrison, you know I don’t do mice, rats, snakes, or spiders! Somebody call an exterminator!”
“Not a country girl, hey?” Icer teases and I turn my icy glare on him. Retreating, he tries not to let me hear him snicker, but I catch it and tilt my head to the side, ready to tear into him. But before I get the chance, he holds his hands up in the air and his face goes blank. “Got it. No mice, rats, snakes, or spiders. If I ever see them, I will terminate them on sight. I won’t even try to rehome them. Anything else I should add to that list?”
“Yeah,” I snarkly reply. “Men who think they’re funny when they really aren’t.”
“Hear that, Harrison?”
“Heard it loud and clear, Icer,” he rebuts, his eyes narrowing.
When Icer grins, I grab Elodie and take her to my car, knowing the two of them are fixing to start barbing and saying things I don’t want my girl’s impressionable ears to overhear.
“See y’all back at my place. Grab me a sweet tea, Harrison.” When he bobs his head while jabbing his finger into Icer’s chest, I know he heard me and skedaddle my way out of the lot.