Page 10 of Saber's Surrender

“What family, Saber? We barely tolerate each other and half the time can’t stand to be in the same room as the other. How pray tell, do you suggest we present a united front?”

“I don’t know, Roxy. I don’t fucking know. And what I’m fixing to propose is going to piss you off, but you’re going to do it because you owe it to me.”

My heart thunders in my chest waiting for him to lower to boom and tell me what it is he’s fixing to force me to do. “What, Saber? Tell me what this proposition is so I can start trying to figure out a way to accept it or counter it.”

And what the hell does he mean that I owe it to him? I owe himnothing. He lost that right fifteen years ago when he destroyed us. A thought comes to mind but I push it away. That particular memory is fraught with fear, sadness, and anger, and reliving it isn’t something I want to do, especially while I’m at work and our broken son is laying in a bed a few doors away.

“You’re going to marry me, Roxy.”

“I’m sorry,” I say with a lackluster chuckle. “I must have misunderstood you. I didn’t realize my ears were clogged until just now. Did you just imply that we were going to tie ourselves together in a way that means there’s a Mrs. attached to my name?”

“No implying, just stating straight out facts,” he rumbles, his tone harsh and unyielding.

“Why on earth would I marry someone who loathes the very ground I walk on and the air I breathe?” I query. “Seriously, Saber, I say this with all due respect, but you’re fucking out of your damn mind if you think I’ll marry you. I know you don’t remember things all that clear, but I do and I’m not setting myself up for that kind of abuse again.”

“Abuse? When did I fucking abuse you, Roxy?” he sneers, his voice sinister sounding.

“How about the day you told me it was my fault I was pregnant? Or wait, I know, howIwas ruiningyourlife? If I recall,youwere naked in the bed with me, and not only was I on the damn pill, but you wore condoms. Do you remember? In fact,Saber,” I sneer back, “they were condoms thatyouinsisted on buying because you were worried I would mess with them since one of your buddies had that happen to him! You watched me take my damn pill every single dayandyou were the one who picked up my prescription, so I couldn’t tamper with it. You were downright paranoid after Chet got trapped by his girlfriend.”

“I never, not once blamed you for being pregnant, Roxy and you know it! I was furious at the fact that you didn’t leave me with any choice but to give our son away to virtual strangers. Do you want to know why I finally gave in when you wouldn’t see things from my point of view and signed on that motherfucking dotted line?”

“Do tell,” I jeer, waving my arm at him as if to say, ‘go on’, “because I can’t wait to hear this one. And, you sure the fuckdidblame me forallof it.”

I spent too many hours with a therapist not to remember everything that happened as though it was crystal clear.

“No, Foxy, I didn’t blame you for being pregnant. I blamed you for being so willing to just give our child away, the one that wanted to be born so badly that he defeated two different birth control methods. It might not have been easy, but we were both smart and we’d have figured out how to finish school while raising a baby. So many other couples do it and have done it.”

Because arguing with him is like talking to a brick wall, I toss my arms up in the air, completely frustrated. It’s always him that’s right and the rest of us are in the wrong. “Just fucking tell me, Saber. Why did you finally give in and sign away your rights?”

He mirthlessly chuckles and sneers. “I went and saw a law professor at the university. Wanna know what he told me? Come on, take a guess, Roxy.”

Him going back and forth between calling me Roxy and Foxy is starting to give me whiplash. I clamp my lips together and wave my hand through the air in a carry on motion.

“We weren’t married, so in the state of Texas, at that time, my rights meant nothing. Not even the fact that we lived together and were considered common law married was a factor. It meant zilch in the eyes of the court. It’s the mother who was in charge of making those decisions because fathers basically had no rights to their children unless he was wedded to the mother. If you were unwilling to give me full custody I had no other alternative than to put my name down so at least I had some sort of tie to him and claim that heismine. Therefore, the fact that you made that decision for the both of us, without any consideration to me or how I felt about it, meant I was up shit creek without a paddle. So yes, you owe me this.”

My entire body slumps in the chair. I knew he was passionate when it came to Canyon, but I didn’t know the lengths he had gone to so he could fight me on the adoption and raise him on his own.

“I’m sorry, Saber. But I’m not sure I’m in a place where I can accept that or any terms you may give me. I need time.” As quickly as I can, I jump out of the seat, toss the foam cup of coffee into the trash bin and scuttle out of the room. All the while, my brain is stuck on the information he shared.

It’s like a broken record just looping through my head and I realize that it’s possible that maybe the two of us had some major miscommunication going on back then. Taking into consideration the pregnancy hormones that were flowing through me, as well as the stress of us both being in a highly competitive career path, and it’s more than obvious that we might have both been talking, but neither of us was really listening to each other.

CHAPTER

SIX

Saber

After Roxy leftI pulled out my phone and sent a group text to RiffRaff and Jillian asking them to come see me at the hospital when they had some free time. While waiting on a response from them, I head out and walk my way toward the medical supply room and pull out three swab kits.

I wasn’t fucking around when I told her that I was going to fast track a genetic test between her, me, and Canyon.

With purpose in each one of my steps I walk at a fast pace to where Roxy is sitting and unseal the package. “Open up, Roxy.”

With red rimmed eyes, she glances up at me and releases a sigh. Without any further smartass remarks, she opens up wide with an ah. I swipe her cheeks with the cotton end of the stick and put it back into the plastic wrap before sealing it. Then I repeat it and do the same thing to myself.

Since neither one of us wants to have another confrontation, I march down the hallway that’ll lead me to Canyon’s room and lightly knock on the jamb. I don’t wait long enough to see if there’s going to be an answer or not before forcing the door open and stepping inside.

Canyon is awake, but his eyes are heavy-lidded. “Doc? Did you find out how Egypt is?”

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