Page 87 of The Matchmaker

“We’ll have to get it attached to her against her will, then.”

“Have you met my mother?”

“We can be persuasive if we set our minds to it.”

“You mean gang up on her? I like the sound of that.”

“Yeah.” I smile a little.

We look at Lilah coloring at the coffee table. “I’ll look into an after-school helper,” I tell Nina. “Things got sidetracked at work, but I’ll get on that ASAP. You’re going to need support.”

“I’ve been making it work.”

I hesitate, remembering the last time I made this offer, but say it anyway. “I can watch her too. I want to be a bigger part of Lilah’s life.”

“Careful what you offer,” she warns. “You free tomorrow?”

“I can be. We assemble a mean puzzle together.”

Her smile falters.

“Wait, is there really something going on tomorrow?”

“It’s no big deal.” She shrugs. “I have a networking event at the High Museum. The executive director invited me to attend. There’s a vacant part-time docent position. Not as exciting as curating a collection, but it means more time with Lilah and looking after Khala. Mom was initially going to watch her, but…”

“In what world is this a networking event? This is a job interview. Yours for the taking, I bet.”

“I don’t know about all that,” she says. “I doubt Portland will even recommend me given how abruptly I bailed.”

“Those were extenuating circumstances. I’ll be here to watch Lilah. I’d be happy to. Azar and I can tag-team it.”

“If we’re finally being real with each other—Azar and you? Total mystery.”

“Well,” I reply. “Maybe not so mysterious anymore?”

“Do you mean what I think you mean?” She breaks into a grin. “About fucking time.” Her smile wavers. She looks at her hands. “I’m sorry, Nura. For everything. For how you found out about the past. That wasn’t right. I’ve been on her to tell you for years.”

“Why didn’tyoutell me?”

“I should have,” she says. “It’s crossed my mind a million times. How do you break something like that to someone, though? How do you upend someone’s life? I didn’t want to be the one responsible for saying what can’t be unsaid. Doesn’t make it okay. I’m sorry. And even sorrier you found out the way you did.”

“It explains why you were so against the work we do.”

“I was angry for many years about how everything unfolded, how she slipped right back into a job that caused our family so much trauma.”

“All this time, I thought the reason for your digs at our work—at me—was that you were jealous,” I tell her. “I’m feeling pretty stupid right around now.”

She regards me silently, then says, “You weren’t wrong. I have been jealous. When I was growing up, Mom was getting the agency off the ground. We didn’t even move into this house until I was a junior in high school. You and I had different childhoods. We were raised by different women. I resented thejob; I hated how much it took her away from me. Now that I’m a mom, I get it. The choices she had to make weren’t simple. In the early years, my mom was carrying all of us alone. I didn’t love it, but now I get that she did what she needed to do to keep us afloat. She was doing her best. I’m happy for you, Nura. I’m glad you got the best of her. And somehow you can manage to spend five minutes with her without wanting to strangle her. Who wouldn’t be jealous?”

“I want to be more involved. With Lilah, with everything going on around here,” I tell her. “I know I messed up last time you leaned on me, but I can do better.”

“It wasn’t your fault. Lilah’s bullheaded.”

“Don’t know where she getsthatfrom.” I raise an eyebrow, and Nina laughs.

“I’ll watch her tomorrow,” I tell her. “Thanks for trusting me.”

I think of my conversation with Logan. His emails. His insistence that he wants to help. It’s possible he’s pulling one over on me. But I can go into a conversation with him with my eyes wide open. Maybe he can help me figure out what is going on. I certainly can’t fix this on my own. Maybe he gets the story of his life, and maybe I can finally find out who is after me.

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