Page 120 of Flirting Lessons

“No, mine. She was upset about the bet, and mad that most of her friends bet that we wouldn’t last until Erica had the baby, so I said we should make sure the people who bet on us would win. Hilariously, the only person we know who was on our side was Erica’s friend Sloane, who Taylor spent all summer despising.”

Luke nodded slowly.

“Right, but why does this mean you have to break up? I know that you say Taylor doesn’t do serious, but…you seem to really like her, and she seems to be really into you, and there are lots of people who ‘don’t do serious’ until they do, you know? Like, is this what you want? A casual relationship that you already have an end date for? Because it doesn’t seem like that’s what you want.”

“There’s nothing wrong with wanting that,” Avery said.

“But is that whatyouwant?” Luke asked. “I don’t know, after seeing you with Taylor…Are you sure you don’t have real feelings for her?”

Avery started to deny it, to say of course she didn’t, of course she wanted something casual. The look on Luke’s face stopped her. He looked so supportive, so concerned for her, that she couldn’t do it. She was trying to be more honest about her feelings, wasn’t she? She knew she could trust Luke.

“Okay. To you, and to youonly, I’ll admit that if I let myself, I could have some real feelings for Taylor. And yes, there have been a few times when I wished that she did serious relationships. But she doesn’t. And Ihaven’tlet those feelings get big, Iamokay with this relationship staying casual. I don’t want to be one of the many people who has had their heart broken by Taylor Cameron. You don’t have to worry about me, Luke, I promise.”

If she let herself hope, even a little bit, she could easily convince herself that there was something real between her and Taylor, that she really cared, that their relationship could last. But if she did that, when the end came…it would be awful. That breakup would be far worse than the breakup with Derek. By the end, she was so unhappy with him that her heart had been just fine when they broke up. But if she let herself think that she and Taylor…No, she didn’t even want to think about it. It was much more civilized to have a nice, agreed-upon date for when they’d break up. No drama, no tears, no heartbreak.

“Okay,” Luke said. “But have you and Taylor talked about this? Not the bet or the breakup plan or whatever, but that neither of you thinks this relationship is serious or has the potential to be?”

Luke was going to keep pushing on this, wasn’t he?

“We don’t have to talk about it. We’ve talked about a ton of relationship stuff for months now, long before we were even dating. She and Erica had a bet before we started dating that Taylor couldn’t make it all summer without sleeping with someone, because that’s the kind of person she is. I knew that’s what I was getting into. I need to sow my wild oats for a while, not jump back into a serious relationship. And she’s the first woman I’ve dated, after all. I want to do more of that.”

Luke nodded again. Avery was starting to hate that nod.

“What?” she said. “Just say it, since I know you’re going to anyway.”

He offered her the open bag of potato chips, and she took a handful.

“I just don’t want you to give up on a relationship that could be something more because you’re scared of getting your heart broken.” She started to say something, to tell him that wasn’t it, but he went on. “With Derek, you realized afterward that you were much happier without him in your life than you were with him in your life, right? Well, with Taylor, you’re happier with her in your life than you were without her, aren’t you? I guess…Look, I don’t want to be that guy who is all coupled up now and so is trying to preach about love and relationships and act like I know better than you, because I’ve never known better than you about anything, and I’m not going to start now. But I don’t want you to ignore your own feelings and try to take the easier way out when you actually want something else.”

Avery shook her head.

“Luke, I know you care about me, and I appreciate it, but I’m having a great time with Taylor, and that’s all. I wanted to have fun in this last year of my twenties, and that’s what I’m doing, I’m having a blast. I know you’re happy now, but I am, too. I’m happy just the way things are, I don’t need to change things to be happy, okay? Now, tell me about your trip. How’s the new job?”

Luke gave her a long look. And then, like she’d known he would, he let her change the subject.

“The job is good so far,” he said. “I keep expecting something bad to happen, my shoulders tense up every time I check my email, but everything has been far better than I expected. As for the trip…”

Avery sighed with relief as she listened to Luke’s story. It had been a mistake to open up to Luke about her very occasional thoughts of what could be between her and Taylor. Casual, fun, great sex, seven weeks to go. Just what she wanted.

Taylor was coldly furious atboth Erica and Avery. She spent Sunday and Monday replaying what they’d each said, to remind herself why she was angry and why they deserved it. Every so often, hurt began to seep through the anger, both hurt and sadness, but when that happened, she replayed a particularly enraging part of one of the conversations in her head, and that reignited her anger.

Usually, when she was this angry with someone, she would bring it up immediately so they could hash it out. Often when she got this angry at someone she was dating, she would just break up with them, because what was the point in staying in a relationship if it was going to be difficult? But this all felt different. She was angry at Erica, yes, but she was also too hurt to even talk about it yet. She had to sit with this before she did something wildly embarrassing like burst into tears when she saw Erica.

As for Avery, the whole point was that Taylordidn’twant to break up with her. That’s what hurt so much—and made her so angry: Avery had decided that they would break up and when, without even talking to Taylor about it or asking her how she felt.

Was this a taste of her own medicine? Probably.

On Monday, Avery sent her a few texts, all of which Taylor either ignored or responded to briefly. Her texts were light and cheerful, which only enraged Taylor more. But then on Tuesday afternoon, she pulled out her phone to see a text that made her want to throw her phone across the room.

Avery

What time tonight?

Right. It was Tuesday, the night they always hung out. And because Avery thought everything was totally fine between them, she assumed they had plans. But Taylor couldn’t see Avery tonight, she had to calm herself down first, or deal with Erica first, or something. Whatever it was, she hadn’t done it yet.

Taylor

Can’t tonight

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