Page 127 of Drunk on Love

“You’ve been thinking about your next steps for a while? You’ve known about this interview since last week, and you’re just telling me about all of this now? The last we talked about this, you said he’d texted you, and I asked if you’d ever go back there and you laughed and said never.”

Oh, right, he had said that to her on the drive back from the auction. That felt like forever ago.

“Yeah, but... things have been changing there, and I figured I might as well give them another shot, right? Plus, my mom will be better soon, I’ll need to find another job anyway. The devil you know, right?” He grinned at her, but she didn’t grin back. Was she upset because she thought he’d be moving? “Don’t worry, I don’t have to move back down there—I can do most of the job remotely.”

He reached for her, but she pulled away.

“That’s great, but if you’ve been thinking about this for a while, and talking to your old mentor and other people about aninterview, why is this the first I’m hearing about it? Why didn’t you talk tomeabout it?”

Was she actually pissed about this? Why wasn’t she excited for him?

“I don’t know, Margot. Maybe because I knew you’d say something like ‘They’re trying to getyouto take that job?’ like it’s absurd for them to actually want me, to think I’m competent, like I’m good enough to do it.”

She shook her head.

“You know that’s not what I meant. Why didn’t youwantto talk to me about this? This is a huge surprise to me—you’ve been thinking about this for weeks, you completely changed your mind about this major thing in the course of a month, and you didn’t feel like talking through any of that with me?”

“I didn’t think I had to talk to you about it,” he said. “I thought you’d be excited for me!”

Why wasn’t she excited for him? Why was she reacting this way?

“You didn’t think youhadto talk to me about it?” Oh, great, now she looked pissed. “Oh, I see. Just one question: Did you tell Avery about this?”

Shit. He couldn’t lie to her about that, not after the conversation they’d just had. And by that hurt, angry look on her face, he could tell she already knew the answer.

“Fine, yes, I told Avery, but that’s not a big deal! There’s nothing going on between me and Avery, I’m with you!”

She looked down and didn’t say anything for a moment.

“I know there’s nothing going on between you and Avery,” she said quietly. “But are you reallywithme? If you’ve spent the whole time you’ve been up here pretending you’re with someone else, and you make this huge decision without even wanting totell me about it, that doesn’t sound to me like you’re exactlywithme. What else haven’t you told me?”

Why was she making such a big deal about this?

“That’s not fair. You know the Avery thing had nothing to do with you.”

She shrugged.

“Sure, okay, then let’s talk about what does have to do with me. Let’s see: you told me on the way back from the auction that you’d never go back to that job; you blew me off when I asked why your mom thought you and Avery were together; oh, and you asked me when we were on the beach if you could come back to Noble after your mom was better.”

She was going to bringthatup? They both knew he wasn’t serious then.

“You know I didn’t really mean that, I was just saying it! I meant I missed being around you all day! Youknewthat.”

She nodded.

“Sure, of course, that makes sense. What else did you ‘just say’ to me that you didn’t really mean?”

Oh, come the fuck on.

“Are you going to twist everything I’m saying here? You’re overreacting again, just like you did yesterday about the party. Me not telling you about this doesn’t mean anything about how I feel about you! The interview isn’t until Thursday. I’m telling you today, aren’t I?”

She shook her head.

“If you could spend the past two months pretending to your mom that you were with Avery, including when you were with me, and you could make a big decision, like going back to your old job, the one that you quit because they made you feelterrible, without even wanting to talk to me about it, that makes it clear to me what a small part of your life I am.” Her voice caught. “I have... You have been a part of my whole life. I thought—”

He couldn’t let her get away with that.

“You and I both know that’s not true,” he said. “How was I a part of your whole life? You didn’t tell your brother we were together. You didn’t tell anyone at the winery! And the winery sure as hell is your whole life. I asked you about it, and you gave me some bullshit about how I used to work for you and the party and everything. And then yesterday you flinched away from me as soon as you heard Taylor’s voice, like you were ashamed of me.”

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