Page 50 of Easton

We talk with her for a bit, and Easton gives her a signed jersey and a Bears ball cap.

She immediately discards her pink knit tassel hat onto the bed and replaces it with the violet Bears cap. “I love this,” she gushes.

The nurse looks over at us and smiles. “Thank you,” she mouthes.

It’s about time to go, so we begin to say our goodbyes.

But as we turn to leave, Lydia asks, “You’re married, right?”

Easton and I turn back around, and I say, “Yes, we are.”

She frowns. “But you’re keeping a big secret. And I don’t understand why.”

“Lydia,” the nurse says sternly, “remember what we talked about, okay?”

I assure her, “It’s fine.”

The little girl then looks at me and says, “You love him very much, don’t you? But he doesn’t really know that, does he?”

Help.

It’s clear she means “love him very much” in a romantic sense, not just friendship.

I can’t even look at Easton.

And there’s no time to anyway, as Lydia points to him and says, “And you love her just as much. But she doesn’t know that either.”

The nurse jumps in again. “Lydia, of course they love each other. They’re married.”

“Yeah, they are,” this amazing child states matter-of-factly. “But they’re also not.”

“Okay, okay.” The nurse ushers us out and issues an apology.

Damn, if she only knew. Lydia was spot-on with everything she said.

But does that mean Easton loves me in the same way?

Is heinlove with me?

This is the question on my mind the whole drive home. I kind of want to discuss what Lydia said, but Easton doesn’t bring her up. He talks about every other child we visited, but not her.

That leads me to believe that though little Lydia was right about our real-but-not-real marriage and my true feelings for Easton, she didn’t read him correctly at all.

And that makes me so sad.

Oh my God, that kid. I wanted to disappear into the floor when Lydia said that I love Claire. I mean, of course she knows I love her. But she has no idea of the depths. Yeah, the truth is I am madlyin lovewith her.

I wasn’t sure, though, if Lydia was right about Claire loving me in the same way. So, on the way home, I was careful not to bring her up. Doing so would have required a discussion, and maybe even revealing our hearts.

Mine just couldn’t take it if Claire were to laugh it all off.

So, nothing was resolved.

I’m beginning to think nothing ever will be. I believe Claire and I will continue to go on being great friends with a fake marriage. And that’s all.

Maybe it’s for the best.

Yeah, keep lying to yourself, dude.

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