Page 71 of Reckless
I laugh up at the sky, my whole body shaking with the action.
I can practically hear Death cursing my name. My ears ring, and I’m trembling from head to toe. Just pulling myself out of the tunnel was—
My heart skips a beat, stuttering in my chest.
He saved me. He practically lifted me through that grate. He…
I kissed him. Again.
And now he’s dying at the bottom of a sewer.
I scramble to the edge of the grate, frantically scanning the cloudy water. I can just make out the faint outline of his body as it sinks toward the floor of the tunnel.
My mind races, my heart following.
I could leave him. I could leave him and be done with this. Because no one but him could catch me, no one but him could find me again once I disappear.
This is my escape. This is my freedom.
This is wrong.
I pull at my hair, my frustration taking a physical form. If I save him, I may be damning myself. And yet, that is exactly what he did. Saving me has him sinking to his death.
I shake my head at my reflection in the murky water.
And then I dive into it.
It’s anything but graceful. My face meets the surface right as I remember that I haven’t swam a day in my life. Panic pulses through me, but I push it aside and force my legs to propel me forward. With flailing arms and feet, I manage to swim deeper.
I scan the water, finding him drifting a few feet from me. I kick hard, forcing myself forward as I reach for him. I wrap an arm around his chest, my lungs screaming at me for air. When my feet find the tunnel floor, I push off it with shaking legs.
We cut through the water, heading for the open grate above. I kick with every bit of fight I can find, keeping my eyes on the sky above. My hand reaches blindly for the lip of the grate, fumbling for something to hold on to. With lungs burning in silent protest, I’m tempted to drop the Enforcer and climb to freedom.
But my slippery fingers curl around the ledge before I heave us upward. My head breaks through the surface, and I don’t waste a second before gulping down air. With one hand now clutching his arm, I use the other to pull myself onto the street. Then I lie on my stomach, hooking both arms under his shoulders, and pull him upward.
His head bobs above the surface, his eyes closed and hair tousledlike running ink. I grunt with the effort of trying to lift his upper body onto the street. Only now can I see what it was he brought with him into the sewer. A chain jangles around his neck, practically choking him. I pull it off, not giving it another thought as I toss it aside to continue pulling him up, inch by inch.
I’m panting before half his body is even lying on the cobblestones, the other half still soaking in the sewer. It’s a struggle to flip him onto his back, but I somehow manage to roll him over. His head lolls to the side, eyes closed against the setting sun. I wait for something to happen, anything at all.
But he’s not breathing.
He’s doing nothing but dying.
Is that not what I’ve wanted?
“No,” I mutter. “No. I didn’t dive back in there for you to die.” I pat his face. I pat harder. Then I’m slapping him like I’ve always said I would. Nothing. “No.No.”
My hands find the center of his chest and begin pumping, begin trying to purge him of the water he’s swallowed. “Come on, Azer,” I whisper. My vision has gone blurry, but I don’t bother to recognize the tears welling in my eyes. “Don’t be dramatic,” I order. “Open your damn eyes.”
I’m pushing hard on his chest, pleading with him. How pathetic. I don’t know why I care. This is exactly what I should want. To have tried my best and still be free of him. This is the ideal situation. I can walk away from this moment without guilt dragging me back to it for the rest of my life.
So why am I fighting back tears?
“Come on,” I whisper, continuing my rhythmic pumping. “Come on, you stubborn bastard.”
His eyelids flutter open.
I jump away from him, giving him room to turn and wretch. Atear rolls down my face as I laugh shakily, relief flooding every bit of my strained body. “I almost gave up on you.”
