Page 15 of Reckless
“What have you done, Enforcer?” Her voice trembles, bitter and biting. “So it’s okay when you kill? Hmm?” She takes a step toward me, but I hold my ground. “You have just as much blood on your hands, Kai. The difference between us is that you refuse to see it.”
I’m shaking my head, beginning to back away again.
“Oh, you don’t believe me?” She’s practically laughing, finding this amusing. “You’re covered in it.”
I look down, raising red hands from my sides. My breath comes in fast pants as my eyes sweep over my body.
I’m dripping in death.
Blood clings to my hair, pools in my boots, coats my teeth. I’m spitting, sputtering, spiraling as I stagger backward. “No, no, no…”
“Go ahead,” she challenges, her voice quiet. “Spill my blood and wear it with the rest.”
I scream.
My eyes fly open.
I’m blinking blindly at the inky sky above, sand shifting beneath my back. My heart pounds as I scan the makeshift camp, eyes adjusting to the darkness. A dozen dozing Imperials litter the desert ground, all scattered around the dying fire.
My throat is raw.
Had I been screaming?
If I woke any of my men, they’re smart enough to act as though I hadn’t. I sit up slowly, my back aching from nights spent on uneven sand and days sitting atop stiff saddles. Dirt-streaked hair tickles my forehead, and I run my fingers through it before warming them beside the fire.
I’ve been in this damn desert for four days now.
And not a single trace of her anywhere.
Well, no physical trace of her anywhere.
And yet, I see her everywhere. She haunts me. Half the time I’m wondering whether she’s already dead, whether the desert has claimed another, swallowed her whole and spit her out as a phantom to ensure my suffering.
No one else glimpses the gleam of silver hair in the sunlight, or the outline of her figure atop a dune.
Because no one else is going insane.
I’m losing my mind, feeling lost in this desert despite knowing we’ll reach Dor before tomorrow’s sunrise. We’ll scout out the city first, and if we find nothing, we’ll head toward Tando to continue our search.
She can’t have made it to a city yet.
Right?
Despite my denial, I’ve seen what she is capable of. Seen how she can survive; heard how shehassurvived her whole life. I doubt even the desert is a strong enough force to take her from this world before she’s ready. The Scorches will soon learn of her stubbornness.
I raise my head from the remaining glowing embers of the fire, fixing my gaze on the shifting sky above. Dawn dances along the horizon, creeping up on the clouds to cast them in faint, golden light. My eyes shift to the slumbering men surrounding me, their snores the only sound filling this corner of the desert.
Sighing, I stand to my feet, stretching my sore limbs. “Up. Now.” My command echoes, stirring even the desert horses tied several feet from our makeshift camp. I’m greeted with groggy grumblings as I begin pacing the messy circle of Imperials. “Good morning,” I say lightly, though the toe of my boot nudging them in the ribs is anything but.
At that, they don’t hesitate to obey my demands. The disheveled bunch is up and milling about in a matter of minutes, some tendingto the horses while others round up our scattered supplies. We’re gnawing on stringy, dried rabbit and sipping warm water before mounting our horses and setting off at a steady pace.
The rabbit rations have me swooshing sandy water around my mouth. It’s not just the taste I’m attempting to erase, but also the memory that accompanies it. I distantly wonder if I twisted my mouth as I ate it, just as I had in the Trials when she watched me close enough to notice.
It’s dangerous, how much I think of her. How much everything reminds me of her. How much I wonder if everything was a game to her, a ploy to help the Resistance. To help the Ordinaries overthrow the kingdom. To kill the king. To kill myfather.
Do I really care that she killed him?
I shake away the thought, shifting in the saddle and rolling my tense shoulders.
