Page 115 of Reckless
I take a step back, my eyes on his. “Only when it’s my doing.”
The last thing I hear as I step from behind the rocks is a fervent “Be careful. For me.”
And then I’m pulling an arrow from my pack, settling it onto thebow, blowing out a breath, and firing at the first figure I see.
The man crumples when my arrow sinks into his chest. I quickly crouch back down, ignoring the fact that I’m aiming to kill. But I only have four more arrows, and I can’t afford to waste a single one.
A cool sort of calm settles over me as I step out into the road. My movements are practiced, my mind still. It all happens so fast that I hardly register knocking another arrow.
I duck behind a set of boulders, feeling an arrow skim past my head. Knowing which direction the arrow came from, I stand and fire at the shoulder sticking out from behind a stone. The arrow hits close enough to the heart that he collapses quickly.
I stride back out into the road, hearing nothing but the gravel grinding beneath my boots. Instinct has me turning to fire at a shadow, finding a man with a bow trained on me. It crumples to the ground with the rest of him when my arrow meets his heart.
It’s quiet. Too quiet.
I find cover behind another group of stones, scanning the surroundings until an arrow comes flying toward me. I duck before it can sink between my eyes. “Found you,” I whisper, knocking my arrow.
When I stand, he fires another, narrowly missing my shoulder. I don’t hesitate before letting an arrow fly toward the head that appears over the rocks. I watch the point tear through his neck, severing tendons and spraying blood.
I hear the thud of his body hitting the dirt.
It’s that sound that wakes me from my stupor.
I shiver despite the icy anger melting away. The road I now stand in seems to spin beneath my feet. Ears ringing and heart racing, I squeeze my eyes shut, as if that could hide me from what I’ve done.
The bow grows slick in my sweaty palm. I drop it numbly to stareat my hands. I can almost feel the blood coating them. The blood of those Ikilled. When Father taught me to fight, I know this is not what he had in mind.
No, not my father. Not truly.
Even still, I’m a failure. More than a disappointment to him. I’m a disgrace. A mockery of everything he taught me to be.
I’ve taken lives. Multiple lives. Seven, to be exact. And I can hardly breathe under the weight of guilt crushing me.
“Hey.”
I spin at the voice, raising my loaded bow into the face of another man.
Kai.
It’s Kai. I’m okay. I don’t have to hurt him.
His fingers are warm beneath my chin as he guides my face to his. I blink slowly, taking in his crinkled brow and icy eyes. “You’re done, okay? You did it.” He tucks a strand of hair behind my ear, more gently than I deserve. “I wish I could have done it for you. My soul is already stained enough for the both of us.”
His voice sounds far away, separated by a flood of thoughts. I shake my head, swallowing hard. “I think you underestimate how much I’ve stained my soul as of late.”
I could drown in the bodies now beginning to pile at my feet. I never wanted to be this. I am nothing, and yet, I’ve taken everything from others. Maybe this is how I’ve managed to evade Death for so long—by satisfying him with souls that aren’t mine.
Kai’s smile is soft, forcing my focus back to him. “The fact that you even care about your soul means you’re still far better than most.”
I stare at him for a long moment, letting his words sink in. Letting myself pretend that I believe them. It’s only when he moves to leanagainst a stone that I remember he’s wounded. The arrow gash is deep and long, dripping blood down his back.
“Shit, Kai, why are you talking about my soul when you’re bleeding all over the place?” I shake my head, moving to crouch behind him.
“I like talking about your soul,” he grits out as I gingerly touch the skin around the gash.
“And why is that?” I say distractedly.
“Maybe,” he breathes, “I’m envious of it.”
