Page 43 of Bee

"And that's my cue." He stands from where he's sitting, shaking his head as we both laugh at him.

"Oh don't go! What's your take...how big is big enough?" I shout in his direction. In return, he flips me off, and I clutch my stomach with laughter. I love poking fun at the guys. This is an all female MC club, so sometimes the conversation that we have are a little too much for the men who spend time here with their women.

Once Press leaves the room though the atmosphere in the room changes. The only joy coming from Glenn who is still running around.

"Now spill, what's wrong?" Duchess doesn't even pretend like she's going to let anything go.

"Nothing, I swear it."

"If nothing was wrong, you'd be much more exuberant. Honestly now that I'm looking at you, it seems like someone ate the last slice of cake or something."

"Duchess..." I don't want to bother her with my small problems, especially when I know we all should be focused on other things, but I've never really told anyone my feelings about this subject. Any other time I was feeling bad about not having someone I can call my own, I found relief in a drink. I can't do that now.

"It's silly." I sigh, and she gets more comfortable in her seat. "I've always known that I was the fun girl. The one people went to for a good time."

"That's what he did? The fucking asshole!" Instantly, Duchess is up in arms.

"No, no, no... he didn't." I let out another breath before I continue. I don't even know how to explain this to her, "It's me. I was so sure that I'd never have someone who wanted to deal with me on a long term basis. I mean, let's be real, I'm a mess. Rye wants...more. He said it straight out without being creepy about it. Like I don't see what he sees in me besides the crazy fun girl. The drunk. The victim. I don't want that for me or for him. I don't know if I'm capable of giving him more."

With it all out in the open, I wait for Duchess to tell me I'm right. To tell me that I need to do more work on myself before I even think about starting anything with Rye. Instead, she sucks her teeth together and rolls her eyes. A very Riot-like expression.

"Bee, you're always going to be the fun girl. You're always going to be a mess in one way or another. It's just in your genetic makeup but let me let you in on a secret. We're all a mess in our own way. I don't know much about this man, but Rye sees that. There's no way after spending all this time with you that he doesn't see that. You told us before that he didn't even touch you while you were detoxing. If all he saw you as was a victim, nothing would've stopped him from pushing while you were vulnerable. I don't think he sees you like that at all. I think he sees the strong woman you are. That's why he's so into you now. That's why he wants more now. You're scared that he's going to be exactly what you need. We've all been through it." She reaches over and takes my hand. "Do you think I thought Press was going to be my one and only when I met him? No ma'am. But there was no denying it. We just completed each other as cheesy as that sounds. From what I saw and what I know about you and Rye's relationship... I'm thinking it's the same for you, too."

"I don't know how to do this. I've never..."

"There's nothing to it. If it's what I think, then it should be as easy as breathing. All you have to do is let it happen."

Let it happen?

When I was with Cage, it felt like I was forcing everything. Sure, the sex was out of this world, but it never felt as good as what I have with Rye and I think that's because of the connection between us.

My mind jumps back to a few hours earlier when he told me our connection would always be there.

I know he's telling the truth. I can feel it in my soul. Even if we don't stay together, I know Rye and I will have a connection that will never disappear. Maybe Duchess is right. Maybe all I really have to do is let it happen.

18

Rye

I'm angry.

I do my best to let my direct my feelings into my chores. Sure enough about twenty minutes before I'm supposed to open I've got the walls cleaned off as best as I'm going to be able to do. Thankfully, there's not a lot of light coming into the small bar. The windows are still boarded up, but I'm supposed to be having a new glass delivery tomorrow. It's not like the usual folks that come in here are interested in looking out the windows anyway.

They are here to drink.

That's all they need me for.

Making the last few adjustments, I make sure the area is safe for people to come in. The last thing I need is for someone to cut themselves on some glass or something like that.

I go to the door and switch the sign to open, before I even make my way back to the bar, the door to the front swings open.

Part of me wants it to be Bee, but I force that feeling away. I'm not going to torture myself pining over a woman that doesn't want to be with me. We both had our fun and that's enough.

I wish I truly believed that, but I don't have much of a choice. It's the only option I have.

Instead of it being Bee, I'm surprised to see its Richard. He owns the small convenience store on the corner. He never comes in here.

"Richard?" I question when I see him looking around. I've done a good job cleaning up, but that doesn't mean it's not obvious that something serious happened here.

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