In fact, after Cage, I completely gave up on finding anyone that would fill that role for me. I thought I was content with just being on my own and having fun. I mean, I'm still young.
Yet, Rye is offering me all of that, and I still can't seem to take the next step.
He made it abundantly clear that he didn't want this to be a one time thing, and honestly neither do I.
That dick is just way too good for me to only have one ride.
But a relationship?
I just can't understand why he'd want a relationship with me. He's seen me at my absolute worst. He's held my hair back while I threw up my guts in his toilet. He patted the sweat off my headwhen I was going through my detox. He's seen me out of my mind drunk.
I don't want to be just some project for him. The next woman for him to have to save.
Is that what he thinks I am?
A victim?
I shake my head from side to side as the wind pushes my hair over my shoulders and I rev my bike to go faster. I need to get all of this off my mind. I was telling him the truth when I reminded him that we both had other things on our plates right now. I'm not trying to hurt him.
Soon he'll see that I'm right and a relationship with me isn't the best thing for him.
Feeling good about my decision by the time I make it to the clubhouse, I'm a little lighter when I walk in the doors.
"There she goes. Stress-free and walking funny." Duchess chuckles from where she's sitting with Press on the couch. Glenn squeals and run from side to side in the space.
An instant smile appears on my face. I love that little kid.
"Ahhhh Eeee!" He shouts when he sees me and rushes over to me with his hands up. I lean down and capture him in my arms to cuddle to my chest.
My heart squeezes a bit when I realize that I may never have the opportunity to feel my own child in my arms. How can I expect to have a kid if I can't even get over myself enough to commit to one man.
"How you doing, buddy? Taking care of everyone?" I ask the little boy, who is more interested in putting his hands in his mouth than the words I'm saying. I press a kiss to his head before I set him down again and make my way to the couch to sit with Duchess.
"I'm surprised we even are seeing you tonight. From the look of that man carrying you up the stairs earlier, I would've thought you were out for the night."
"Nah, we've got business."
"True." Duchess nods and crosses her legs so she's facing me.
I look around the clubhouse and notice a few people's doors are open. They must be out on a ride. "Where's everyone? Did we get any more information?"
"Riot and Vexx are out talking to one last business owner, but it seems like what you told us is all accurate. This Sonny bastard is really trying to take over shit that doesn't belong to him. Vexx isn't going to let that shit fly. It's only a matter of time before he goes from harassing the businesses to showing up on our doorstep. We need to get ahead of this before it gets out of hand." Duchess' expression is dead serious.
This is what I wanted. What we all joined Eve's Fury to do. Protect our community. How can we call ourselves community activists if we allow some bully to come in and set up shop?
"So what's the plan? I'm sure we're not just going to go in guns blazing?"
"It might come to that." Press says from the back. "I've been around his type for a long time. Sonny is just coming up in the ranks, so he's going to take everything to the extreme. He probably thinks he needs to show everyone who's boss. The only way he's going to back down is if we show him he's not the big dog around here."
It's not what I want to hear, but I'm prepared for it. I've got no problem joining in a fight if it means that everyone is safe. That Rye is safe.
Just thinking of him brings my mood down. I hate the way I left things with him.
"Uh oh, what's that?" Duchess nudges me and I quickly try to fix the expression on my face. It's too late.
"Nothing. I'm good." I force the words.
"Bullshit. You don't have the glow you should have. Don't tell me...he's a big man everywhere except where it counts?" Duchess chuckles and Press groans.