Page 23 of Bee

Right away, Free's mood sombers, "Bee," She puts her hands on my shoulders, "Tati," My body tenses even more when she calls me by my birth name. Ever since we were given our road names we barely every use our real names unless it's extra serious. "Your mess will forever be my mess. I don't care if you just set off a nuclear warhead and started another world war, I always want to be by your side. Don't ever feel like you're a burden or that I don't want to help you. I'm your sister. Don't cut me out of your life, I won't survive without you."

Those same emotions I fought to keep shoved down just a few seconds ago with Vexx raged back up, but this time I can't stop the tears.

Free doesn't need me to say anything in return, she just pulls me in her arms and holds me.

I missed her. Not just when I was with Rye, but when I was deep into my alcoholism. She's always been here, but I couldn't see past the bottom of the bottle to reconnect with her.

We stay there holding each other for a minute until I hear a small commotion coming from downstairs. It's just the excuse I need to stop the tears. "Let's go down there before they burn down the house or something." I joke with Free, and this time she laughs.

"Alright...you sure, you straight?" She stops me before I take a step.

"I'm doing good. Probably better than I have in a long time." I smile and make my way out of the room.

"Raas! What wrong with your hands dem!" Riot is fussing, her accent taking on her natural Jamaican dialect.

It's not unusual that she's fussing about something, but I didn't even think that anyone else was in the clubhouse.

I make my way down the long hallway that leads to the larger room in the clubhouse and see everyone else huddled arounda large water cooler. The large twenty gallon jug of water is upended and spewing water all over the place.

I'm confused.

None of this was here last week.

The wall that was once lined with booze and beer is now lined with bottles and bottles of...water. The shelf that held all the mixers are now full of water enhancers. Bottles of soda are in the small fridge. On the bar is an actual coffee machine. Not one of the little ones but a legit commercial one.

"What is all this?" I ask and everyone stands looking a little embarrassed.

Sugar comes up to me, her signature sweetness oozing from her pores. "We were trying to get everything set up before you got home. We're running a little behind schedule."

Duchess steps forward. "I told Sugar we should get a coffee machine, and she went a little crazy." She rolls her eyes.

I know that's not true. They're doing this for me.

The love I feel for all of them is overwhelming. I know I'm never going to be able to repay them for this, even if it's just a little thing. They're all changing their lives for me. It's a big thing.

"Of course she did, if we're going to do coffee, we gotta do it right!" I laugh and grab the rag out of Duchess' hand to help clean up.

No one will admit that they're waiting for me to breakdown, but I know they are.

"Relax, guys, I'm not going to rip up the floor boards looking for my Jack Daniel's. I'd guard your closets, though."

When I hear them all gasp, I look up and laugh, which cuts the tension. Everyone joins in. Some of us cleaning the mess on the floor while the others go back to stocking what I'm sure is going to turn out to be a great coffee nook.

Nighttime.

This is the absolute worst.

I've done good all day with my urges. I can't say I haven't thought about going to find a drink somewhere, but I was able to push it out of my mind pretty easily.

Unfortunately, I've spent so much of my pastime drunk and out on the town that the nighttime has become my biggest obstacle.

I'm bored out of my mind.

Everyone is in their own space, either with their significant others or their kids.

Hell, Roth is even down here for a visit with Vexx. I don't expect to see her for a few days. That's usually how it goes when he shows up.

So I'm left on my own. Utterly alone. With nothing to do but count the cracks in the ceiling.

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