Page 11 of Bee

"I'm not judging you. I'm just telling you what I see. If you want a different opinion get it from somewhere else." Abandoning the rest of my clean up for tomorrow I come out from behind the bar and usher the last of the customers out. I'm ready for this day to be over. To be away from Bee.

She walks up behind me, "You know if you weren't such a jerk I'd actually be willing to take a ride on the Bear."

"Oh shit, did she just say what I-" I shove the last patron out the door.

My nerves are on ten right now and my body is tight but it's not from arousal. It's from rage.

I walk back over to Bee and grab the back of her neck tilting her face up so I can see her eyes clearly. They are glazed and she nearly topples over just from the one touch.

"Bee, you're fucking gorgeous. Exactly the kind of woman that gets my cock harder than forged steel. I'd bend you over every surface in this bar touching parts of your body you didn't even know exist." I hold her steady as I continue. "But I'd rather piss pine cones and have steel wool rammed up my ass before I'd fuck you while your this wasted. I don't know what kind of man you're used to but you're not going to get it from me. Go home." I let her go and walk to the front door to hold it open for her.

"You... But...I..." She's flustered. She huffs out a breath and storms out of the door not saying a word in return.

"I'll see you tomorrow?" I question but I don't have to. I know she'll come back. I just threw down the gauntlent and if I know anything about this woman is that she's going to rise to the challenge. I'm actually intrigued to see what she's got hidden inside of her.

I wanted excitement, this little Bee sure is just what the doctor ordered.

5

Bee

"We've got another run upstate tomorrow, are you going to be able to come?" Riot questions me, she's standing at the door her arms crossed over her chest and a look of pure aggrevation painted on her face.

Usually I'd brush it off as her being her, After Vexx, Riot is the only one in the house that can be mean at the drop of a hat. Her attitude flows through her veins.

"Yeah, I'll be there." I try to keep my voice cheery, but the reality is I'm not feeling it at all.

I'm hurting and all I want is a drink.

I'm not an alcoholic.

At least I didn't think I was one. But it's been a full twelve hours since I last had anything to drink and I feel like absolute shit.

The last thing I want to do is admit that this might be too much for me to handle. I don't want the other girls to see me as weak. I promised myself I'd never be weak again so how did I let this happen?

Riot huffs and walks away from my door. She doesn't believe that I'll be ready to ride. I don't blame her. I've missed the last three runs simply because I was too drunk to get on my bike. Free has tried to get me straight, Vexx, Duchess, hell everyone has tried to talk to me at one point or another about my drinking but I always brushed it off. I can't keep doing this.

Slowly, I make my way out of my room and walk into the main living area where Sugar and Addison are watching something on the idiot box.

I drop down on the couch next to them. They both look at me and then eachother, neither of them saying a word in my direction.

The tension is the air is thick, and I know it's because they are thinking what no one wants to say. I try to stay quiet try to just let them have their peace but I feel like I'm going out of my mind.

"Am I really that much of a fuck up?" the question is out of my mouth before I have a chance to think about the words.

"What, baby?" Sugar looks at me with clear concern in her eyes.

"The drinking. Have I really fucked this up this bad?" I ask tears spilling down my cheeks.

They both gasp and rush over to me to pull me into a hug.

"Bee, you're just going through something right now. You can kick this. I know you can." Addison combs her hand over my hair.

"Absolutely sweetie," Sugar smiles and squeezes me tighter.

"I don't know. I don't think I can."

"Shh, don't talk like that. We're all here for you. Whatever you need. You know we're going to be right here for you." Sugar continues trying to make me feel better but all it does is makes me feel worse. I feel like a failure. I promised these women that I would always be there for them but how am I supposed to have their back when I can barely stand on my own two feet.

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