Page 59 of All You Need Is Love

“Noah’s mom is back. She’s going to get custody again.” Hot flashes pulsed against the back of Shannon’s eyes.

“What? No way.”

“Way.” She couldn’t help the bitter tone that oozed out.

“Okay, what is going on with you? Is it Quinn? She’s the only person I know who brings the sarcasm out in you.”

The fan, the blades of which resembled baseball bats, whirred above them, flick flick flicking air in a constant, rapid motion as if building toward something. Every now and then, it got off balance, but it always found its smooth rhythm again.

That was Shannon, except Noah and Marshall and Quinn and everything else had thrown her so far off that there was no getting back.

“No, it’s not just Quinn.” Pulse racing, she leaped from the bed, unable to sit still any longer. “You want to know what’s going on? I thought my life was finally going to mean something, Ashley. But now, I just …” Her chest heaved as she spun in a circle, gripping her hair. Was this what it felt like to have a mental breakdown?

“Hey, hey, hey.” Her cousin raced to her, snagged her shoulders, faced her forward. “Your life does mean something. What are you talking about?”

“What is life without someone or something special? Everyone else … well, Tyler has Gabrielle and they have an amazing foundation that helps children everywhere and a baby on the way. You have Derek and your own company. Mom and Dad have each other and a thriving business they love. Quinn has a flashy career and the respect of everyone in this town. Even after the truth about Marshall gets out, she’ll somehow still have that respect, mark my words. What do I have, Ashley? Tell me that. What do I have?”

Shannon paused, pressing the heels of her hands against her eyes. Her breath sputtered in and out like a train attempting to go uphill. “I just wanted one thing … one thing that was going to be my special thing. I wanted to be Noah’s mom. And then, when I thought that might not happen, at least I had Marshall, someone who I thought saw me. The real me. Not the one I try to be, just the one I really am. But like everyone else, he chose Quinn. And don’t get me started on her.”

“I wouldn’t dare.” Ashley tried to crack a grin, but Shannon wasn’t in a joking mood.

“And you … I thought we were like sisters, you know? But when you eloped, you didn’t invite me. Didn’t even tell me. So everything I thought about who I was or what I had, it was all a lie.”

She suddenly felt light-headed. Had she really just said all of that? Yep. Every whiny, pathetic word …

Squeezing her eyes shut, she shook her head.

“I’m so sorry, cuz.” Ashley’s gentle touch forced Shannon’s eyes back open. Her cousin stood there, her features twisted. “I … I didn’t think about how my actions with Derek would affect you. I was only thinking of myself.”

“I tried so hard to just be happy for you. And I am. Really.” Shannon shrugged. “I just wish I had been there. I love you and I always dreamed of being by your side when you married your husband.”

Hugging Shannon, Ashley blew out a breath. “I got so caught up in the romance of it, but I should have thought …”

“No, I’m sorry.” Shannon squeezed her cousin and released her. Making her way back to the bed, she scooted Lucky over—sometime in the last several minutes, he’d taken over half the bed—and plopped down once more. Then she patted the spot beside her for Ashley, who joined her. “It’s just something I need to get over. The world doesn’t revolve around me, and I need to stop taking things so personally.”

“I’m glad you told me. Did it feel good to get that off your chest?”

Huh. “Yeah, actually. It did.”

“Good.” Her cousin’s long blonde hair fell forward as Ashley played with a tassel on the quilt. “I know you hate to rock the boat, but you should speak your mind more often.”

Shannon folded her legs under her and ran her hand down the sheer material on the skirt of her dress. “I hate conflict. There’s already so much of it in the world.”

“I know. But sometimes conflict is a necessary part of healing, don’t you think? If you’d never told me how you felt about me eloping, I wouldn’t have known. But it still might have festered and grown into this huge thing that put a wedge between us. Isn’t it better that I know how you feel so we can work through it together?”

“I guess. But I should have just been able to push it down, change how I feel. See the positive, you know? That’s always worked before.”

“Maybe it didn’t work as well as you thought.” Ashley paused. “But you know that what you have to say is just as important as everyone else, right?”

Shannon’s fingernail snagged against the gauzy purple.

“Shan.”

She sighed. “I mean … yeah?”

“Well, I’m convinced.” Ashley stuck out her tongue, and Shannon cracked a tiny smile at her cousin’s teasing. “For real, though. There’s so much about what you said a few minutes ago that makes me really sad. Because I don’t think you see yourself the way everyone else does.”

Frowning, Shannon shifted, the weight of all the labels she’d heard or knew to be true heavy in her lap.

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