Page 39 of All I've Waited For

“I just …” Ashley heaved out a hard breath and fixed her gaze once more on the sky, where thousands of stars lit the black around them.

That was her—light and beauty even in the darkness.

“You just what?”

“Do you love her, Derek?”

His grip on the quilt tightened, its soft timeworn fabric digging into his hands. “Why are you asking me that?”

“Most couples I work with … they just act differently than you guys do.”

“So people have to act all lovey-dovey for you to believe they should get married?”

“No. That’s not it.” She turned her body toward him, her foot sidling up to his for a moment before it fell away. “You said you know me, but I know you too. And this whole thing just doesn’t jibe with the man I know. He was steady and logical, yes, but he was passionate too.”

“I can’t afford to be passionate now. I have responsibilities.” He pressed a kiss to the top of Mia’s head. “People counting on me.”

“I can certainly understand that, but—”

“If you did, you wouldn’t be challenging me on this.”

His niece rustled beneath him. Oops. He needed to be better about holding in his temper.

Ashley’s eyebrows pulled downward. “I don’t get what all of that has to do with you marrying Claire.” Her voice hissed across the expanse between them, which might as well have been miles instead of inches. “What I want to know is whether this marriage is really going to make you happy.”

“Happy enough.”

She threw her hands in the air. “What doesthatmean?”

“It means that even if I don’t love her like everyone thinks I should, I’ll still be happy.” He ground out the words, cringing a bit as Ashley’s eyes widened. But it felt good to tell her the truth. Might as well. In fact, he should have done it long before now. “Look, you might not agree, but marrying Claire means security for her family and mine. It’ll allow me to save the vineyard.”

Silence reigned between them for what seemed like an eternity. Ashley blinked. “You’re marrying her because of the vineyard?”

“It’s not just the vineyard. It’s Dad. Doing this saves him the stress of overwork, which could add years to his life.”

Her hand absently stroked Mia’s back. “It’s very noble of you to want to save your family, but your dad would never be okay with you selling yourself to do it. I’ve got to assume he has no idea.”

“And it’s going to stay that way.” He sighed. “I appreciate the concern, but I’ve got this figured out. Partnering with Claire is the only way for us both to get what we want.” The irony of saying that to Ashley slapped him upside the head.

Because if he really let himself think about what he actually wanted, what his heart craved …

“What does she get out of it?”

“She’ll inherit her family’s vineyard once she’s married. Her grandpa isn’t well either.”

Ashley’s hand stilled. “Derek, it’s not your job to fix this for your family.”

“If not me, then who? You know you’d do the same thing for your family. I figured you, more than anyone, would understand.”

“I—”

“After all, you’re the one who’s sacrificing all her sleep, all her time, for things she doesn’t really want.”

“That’s not true. I’m working hard so I can buy the business from Kyle.”

“What about the festival? And the family reunion? And Ben’s wedding? Where do those fit into your dream?”

Her eyes flashed. “I just love people. I want to make them happy.”

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