Page 71 of I Blame the Rival

“The usual stuff. Questioning why I didn’t feel the need to dress up or put on makeup. Why I would rather stay home and hangout then go out with his friends. Why I always made him feel unwanted.”

Skylar hisses out a breath and the sound puts an ache in my chest.

“He had this idea that we weren’t a real couple if we didn’t have sex. We’d done some other stuff, but every time he pushed for more, I would say no.”

I bite my lip, staring at my fingernails as the humiliating truth presses against my chest.

“After a few months, he gave me an ultimatum. Have sex or the relationship was over.”

“Did you want to have sex with him?”

I shake my head, letting the pathetic truth slip past my lips, “No. I just didn’t want to lose him.”

Silence falls between us until Skylar reaches over and takes my hand.

“What happened next?”

I swallow, wishing my story had a different ending.

“We were in the backseat of his car, so there wasn’t a lot of room. He started kissing me and taking off my clothes. I got scared and asked him to slow down.”

I squeeze my legs together as the memory resurfaces.

“He kept telling me it was going to be okay. That I just had to make it through the first part and it would get better. But he didn’t get me ready, so when he pushed himself inside me, it hurt. It hurt so bad.”

My voice breaks on a sob, “I kept asking him to stop but he kept going. The pain got so bad that I started to cry. I didn’t understand why he kept hurting me. Why he was enjoying hurting me.”

Skylar’s fingers clench around mine but I keep going. I know that if I stop now, I won’t be able to start again.

“I wanted to die. Just to make the pain go away. Then it finally ended and the pain got so much worse. He pulled up hispants and told me it hadn’t been worth the wait. That I hadn’t been worth the wait.”

I hunch over, sobs wrecking through my body. Skylar pulls me back on the bed, wrapping his arms tightly around me as I cry out the rest of my love story.

“The next day, he told everyone at school I was a bad lay. I was so embarrassed. The rumours going around made it so my friends didn’t want to hang out with me anymore. My heart was in pieces and I felt so alone. I didn’t see a way out.”

“I found my mom’s prescription pills five days later. My brother found me unconscious in the bathroom and rushed me to the hospital. When I woke up, I was so disappointed. I didn’t want to be in this life anymore. But then I saw Wesley’s face, I saw the devastation in his eyes, and the disappointment turned into guilt.”

A strangled laugh escapes me, “Turns out, the only thing worse than having your innocence stolen is waking up to see your brother’s face after you try to commit suicide.”

Skylar doesn’t say anything as I break down and cry, my body curled up against his. My fists dig into his shirt, clenching the soft material like it’s my lifeline. Skylar presses his lips against my neck, softly stroking my hair as he waits for my tears to run out.

My hiccups break the silence of the room, echoing off the walls of my dorm. It takes a while for my ragged breathing to calm down, but once it does, Skylar shifts back to look at me.

“You have really soft hair. Do you use conditioner too?”

I choke out a laugh, remembering the last time I used that line. Our roles were reversed, but just like before, it helps to diffuse the thick waves of grief clouding the room.

“Maybe.”

Skylar stares at me, seeing every uncovered shard I have to offer. I’m fully dressed and yet I feel completely naked, stripped down to the raw edges of my being.

“What did you mean when you said he didn’t get you ready?”

I blink, surprised by his question.

“Uh, well, he didn’t touch me.”

Skylar’s brows furrow and I start to blush, “Like foreplay. It doesn’t take much to turn me on but he just went straight to sex. So, I wasn’t… wet.”

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