Page 109 of I Blame the Rival

“You… you don’t want to have sex with me?”

I’m still straddling his lap, so I quickly scramble off and press myself against the opposite door. Tears are threatening to make a reappearance, but I force them down, refusing to be the girl who cries about rejection.

Skylar doesn’t look at me, he just stares down at his lap, where I was moments before.

“It’s not the right time.”

“Since when do you get to decide when it’s the right time?” Anger and hurt fills each word.

“I don’t decide when it’s the right time, but I can tell when it’s the wrong one. And right now, it’s the wrong time.”

I fall silent, staring at the dirty carpet in front of me. Trip must not vacuum her floors because it is atrocious back here.

“I’m not doing this to embarrass you.” He blows out a strained breath, “I’m trying to keep you from making a mistake. You know as well as I do that it’s never a good idea to make a big decision after an emotionally draining day.”

I scowl at the ground, hearing the familiar words of our therapist. Skylar leans over and tugs my pinkie, patiently waiting until I face him like a petulant child.

“You’re trying to rush into things because of your encounter with Jerrell today and that’s not a good enough reason to take the next step.”

“Jerrell has nothing to do with this. I want to have sex with you.”

Skylar sighs, “You’re not thinking about me right now. You’re thinking about your past and how you want to prove he didn’t hurt you as much as he did.”

My bottom lip starts to quiver as the truth of his words sink in.

“I don’t want to be broken anymore.”

“Everyone is broken, Flower. Some people just have a few more pieces than others.” He tilts his head, watching my reaction, “When we have sex it’s not going to be because you feel like you need to. It’s going to be because you want to.”

“But… what if that day never comes?”

He shrugs, “Then we find a different way to fog up car windows.”

I pull my knees up to my chest and squeeze them tight. Everything he’s saying makes sense, but my brain is refusing to accept rationality right now.

“Can’t we just try and see what happens?”

Skylar closes his eyes and leans his head back against the headrest.

“Not for this, Flower.”

“Draw on me then.” I shove the words out of my mouth before the fear can sink in, “Like you wanted to. Use my skin like it’s paper.”

Heavy silence fills the car until Skylar opens his eyes and looks at me.

“You want me to draw on you?”

“Yes.” He doesn’t look away and soon a blush stains my cheeks, “Don’t say no again. Let me give you this one thing.”

“You don’t have to give me anything.”

“Don’t say no, Skylar. Please.”

My plea is what does him in.

“Okay.” He sighs, looking down at his hands, “Not tonight though. I want you to take a few days to think about it and if it’s still what you want then…”

Skylar swallows before looking at me. His irises are more contrasting than usual, the light one burning with quiet anger while the dark one smoulders with desire.

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