Page 73 of I Blame the Club

“You never used to do more than one night either. Guess both you and Mo have both made progress.”

I frown playfully, “And here I thought I would be the one giving you boy advice.”

“That would require an interest on my part.” She casts her eyes downward and pats her book, “That’s what fictional men are for.”

“You deserve a real man, mi amor. One that gives you the same hopeful feeling these books of yours do.” I pick up the book and point at the cover, “There are definitely cowboys here in Taber. We just have to hit the right places.”

“I’d rather read from the sidelines.” Her smile slips, taking my heart with it, “I don’t want to be hurt again.”

The reason for my impromptu visit starts to burn a hole in my pocket and my heart kicks into overdrive. I swallow the nerves rising in my throat and grab the pill bottle that has been haunting me for the last seven days. Lacey’s eyes go wide when she sees it.

“You found it! I’ve been looking for that everywhere.” She takes it from my hand and hugs it to her chest. I stare, shell-shocked, as she beams in my direction.

“Where did you find it?” Her reaction has me at a complete loss for words, so it takes me a few moments to re-assemble this conversation in my brain.

“I found it at the bottom of your memory box on move-in day.” She frowns but I continue, “I meant to bring it up sooner but then all this stuff with Maurice happened and I was a coward…”

“Why would you steal it?”

“Because I was worried you would try to take the pills again!” I blurt out the words, my biggest fear tumbling from my mouth, “I don't know why you kept the pills after you-

“Tried to commit suicide.” She stares back at me sadly, the pain in her expression making me want to weep.

“I just didn’t want to risk losing you again. Stealing the pill bottle was a stupid idea, but I just panicked when I saw it.”

Hanging my head in defeat, I feel my tear ducts start to burn. Lacey’s purple fingernails hit my line of vision and I watch her pop the lid open.

“Did you look inside?” Her voice is warm and soft and it somehow makes me want to cry more.

“Maurice suggested I look but I was too scared. I gave it one good shake and that was enough.”

It doesn’t take a genius to figure out what a rattling pill bottle means.

“Hold out your hand.”

I frown, giving her a confused glance as I offer up my palm. Lacey dumps out the contents of the pill bottle and I stare at them in shock.

“Is this the friendship bracelet I made you?”

My hand trembles as I lift up the beaded bracelet, the misshaped letters spelling outmi amorstaring back at me.

Lacey smiles sheepishly, “It’s a trick my therapist taught me. My actions and my consequences affect the people I love and sometimes when times get hard, I need a reminder.”

A tear slides down my cheek and she wipes it away with a sigh, “I realize now that trying to take my own life was selfish. It would have ruined you, it would have ruined Wesley, and it would have ruined my parents. This is a reminder that even when I hate the world, there will always be people in it that are worth living for.”

“Awe Lace.” I’m too choked up to say anything else, my tears soaking the sleeve of her hoodie as she pulls me close.

“I’m sorry, Nico. I never meant to hurt you.” She sniffs, wrapping her arms tightly around me.

“I know you didn’t, mi amor. I know you didn’t.”

I stroke her hair, letting the pain of our past drip away with every fallen tear. We hold onto each other until the last of it has passed and then I let my head drop onto her shoulder.

“I think I need another nap.” My eyes are already starting to close when Lacey lets out a laugh.

“Shower first. Then nap.” She finds my hand and squeezes it, “No offence but you can’t pull off Mo’s cologne.”

“Ouch.”

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