Page 28 of I Blame the Club

“Shit, I can’t believe this is happening.”

I cross my arms, watching the Tigers’ goalie pace back and forth in front of the pool table. Half the shit he’s muttering to himself is in Spanish, but even the English bits are so slurred it’s hard to interpret.

“Montez.” Pausing his pacing, Nico turns to look at me, “Do us both a favour and calm the fuck down.”

“You’re right.”

“I know.”

“But you weren’t the one who almost kissed the heterosexual assistant coach!” Nico shrieks the last part and a couple of bar patrons look our way.

“If you don’t keep it down, the whole bar will chase us out with whatever bat they have on hand.” Sighing, I pull out my phone and open the Uber app.

Nico pauses his pacing, “What are you doing? Why aren’t you freaking out right now?”

“I am getting us a ride because I am too drunk to drive and even if you weren’t three sheets to the wind, you are too unstable to be behind the wheel. And I am not freaking out because it is a waste of time and energy. Learn to control your emotions, Montez, and you might find life gets a whole lot simpler.”

One click later and our ride is paid for and on its way.

If only people were so easy to handle.

“Fuck that, I’d rather be a drama queen than an emotionless robot like you.”

The slurred words hit home but I don't so much as flinch.

“Let’s wait for our driver outside.” Taking Nico’s arm, I carefully guide him through the bar and out into the safety of the night.

“You do realize you almost kissed a guy, right? This is me waving the rainbow flag.” I watch, unamused, as Nico waves his arms back and forth in the air.

“You’ve made your point.”

“Have I? You're acting like nothing almost happened tonight.”

Leaning against the wall, I pull out my phone to countdown the minutes until I can escape.

“Seriously, Maurice, look at me.” I look up and find Nico spinning in a circle.

This driver can’t come fast enough.

“No tits. No vagina. No bueno.” Running a hand over his face, he groans, “I would have given you a beard burn.”

Despite the growing desire to duct tape Nico’s mouth shut, I find myself laughing. His head whips around, the shock on his face making me laugh harder.

“This isn't funny.”

“Your right, it isn’t.” Giving myself one last chuckle, I pull myself together just as the driver pulls into the visitor lot.

“O’Brien?” The driver peeks his head out the window.

“That’s us.”

Walking over and opening the back door, I motion for Nico to climb in. He stumbles his way inside and I pause just before closing the door.

“My skin isn’t that soft, Montez. It takes a lot to leave a mark.”

Swinging it shut before Nico can say another word, I walk around to the passenger side and climb in.

Nico

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