Page 115 of I Blame the Club

Instead of answering, Nico sits down beside me. He shifts around, knocking our shoulders together as he makes himself comfortable and a bolt of anger goes through my system.

"I told you to leave." Refusing to look in his direction, my teeth snap together, "Get the fuck out."

I refocus on my breathing, the age-old trick that has kept me in control all these years. The trick gets thrown out the window as every memory I've ever had with my mother flashes through my mind like a time capsule, her carefree laughter ringing in my ears as I try and fail to get a reign on my body.

"I've never been good at following instructions." A warm arm wraps around my shoulders, pulling my shaking body closer. He presses a kiss on my neck, whispering softly in my ear.

"Let me in, Maurice. Let me take care of you."

Shaking my head, my heart starts to ache as I fight to hold on. My mother's face flashes behind my eyes, her colourful dress twirling in front of twelve-year-old me as her voice echoes through my mind.

Stop thinking, Mo. Just feel.

Squeezing my eyes shut, I finally let go.

Falling against Nico, I stop fighting and let the tears flow freely. Pitiful sounds escape my mouth but Nico accepts them all, murmuring to me in Spanish until the pressure in my chest softens and slowly disappears.

My body sags as the emotions drain out, Nico's soothing touch the only thing that's keeping me from melting to the floor.

"Feel any better?" Running his fingers through my hair, Nico plants another kiss on my neck, "This is the first time I've seen you look less than a ten."

A watery laugh escapes me, "I hate you."

"It is always good to know whether or not you're an ugly crier. And you, my gorgeous boyfriend, most certainly fall into the second category."

I huff another laugh, letting the warmth of his embrace chase away the remaining shakes. Once I'm somewhat certain there won't be another episode, I push myself up to sitting and clear my throat.

"Thank you. For not leaving."

Nico smiles and reaches over to smooth out the crease between my brows.

"For you, Maurice, I will always stay." He tilts his head, dark eyes studying me intently, "It was Stella drinking the alcohol, wasn't it?"

I sigh, giving him a resigned nod, "Watching her take that shot felt like she was letting go of the past. It felt like she was letting go of mom. Like she was leaving us behind."

"Awe Maurice."

I shake my head, falling back against the door, "It's ridiculous because I am genuinely happy Stella has moved on. I couldn't be happier that she's making a new life for herself, one where she can leave the consequences of her past in the past."

"But now you're wondering where does that leave you."

"Exactly. She's got Cody, Lou, an entire support system that doesn't include me." I frown as I repeat the thought that triggered this meltdown in the first place, "Stella doesn't need me anymore."

Nico taps my nose, "You're only looking at half the data, Maurice. Even though it might look and feel different, your sister will always need you."

"How do you know?"

He smiles, "Because that's what it means to be family. Stella might not rely on you the way she did after the accident but that's a good thing. You don't have to be her caretaker and protector anymore. You can finally be the one role you were meant to be. Her brother."

We fall silent, staring at each other on the bathroom floor of Taber’s only sports bar. My skin starts to itch from my dried tears but I don’t make a move to wash it off.

Feeling back on steady ground, I take a calming breath and nod, "You're right."

"Am I ever wrong?"

I roll my eyes and haul myself off the ground. My ringtone bursts to life just as Nico climbs to his feet and he shoots me a horrified look.

"Babe, not to ruin a sentimental moment but why are you still using the basic ringtone that comes with the phone?”

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